Why My Most Productive Shopping Is Done Online

Or The Key To Mallrat Recovery Is Offspring

Kendall is 3, Leyna is 4.5 months, and I now only go to malls for the pretzels and playgrounds.

  • Linz - My mom STILL refuses to go shopping with me.ReplyCancel

    • Morgan - This is the first time I have commented, but I just wanted to say that some of your blog entries have gotten me through some of the worst moments with two (oldest son born 5/10/08, youngest son born 12/25/10. Thank you so, so much. I have a internet crush on you…you’re awesome!ReplyCancel

      • Jill - Morgan, you just made my whole day. Thank you for your comment and for reading! I hope you have a restful night ahead of you πŸ™‚ReplyCancel

  • Devon - This is completely 100% irrefutably true!ReplyCancel

  • Alyssa - My bathroom time is almost 0, though I don’t know how…. But our “eating” time is about 1-1.5 hrs, including me, and my two kids. LOLReplyCancel

  • Elizabeth - I love that this is a pie chart. LOL. So true.ReplyCancel

  • Mae - Word. To your mother, and stuff.ReplyCancel

  • Jenny B - OMG so true. This is why I have no clothing that fits.ReplyCancel

  • Emily - I. LOVE. THIS.ReplyCancel

  • Nicole D - I’m so glad to see that I’m not the only one that this happens to! πŸ™‚ReplyCancel

  • Teresa - Hahahahaha! My chart would also include 20 minutes of riding the elevators and escalators for the sheer entertainment value. I would love to go to ANY store for 20 minutes child-free. Oh, what I could accomplish!

    Delurking after I-don’t-know-how-long. I have two boys: 27 months and 3 months. I’ve been just behind you with the child-rearing thing and your stories always give me a heads up on what is coming around the corner for me.ReplyCancel

  • mrshiggison - This was me. Yesterday.
    Who even INVENTED the double stroller anyway? The bastards.ReplyCancel

  • Miranda - Know why I don’t go to the mall with Joshua by myself unless I am meeting someone?

    I CANNOT FIGURE OUT THE FACKING BATHROOM THING. Seriously. And I only have ONE child. Two?

    Nope. Not happening. I’d just have to buy Depends.ReplyCancel

  • Mama in the City - Even though we live in a very walkable city and I can easily walk out of my apartment and head to many many shops with my stroller, I still appreciate and want to shop all alone. My husband doesn’t get this part, but there is not a lot of fun in trying on jeans with your toddler. No matter how quiet or calm they are! This means that I really dig on line shopping! I do a lot of my shopping on line for seasonal things and upcoming birthdays and of course….clothing!ReplyCancel

  • MomEinstein - HAHAHA. I love it. I only have one baby and I try to avoid shopping for clothes in real stores without reinforcements. Bringing another adult helps immensely – plus then I get the bonus of an opinion on how I look in the clothes.

    I have breastfed in many a dressing room, though. πŸ™‚ReplyCancel

  • TheFeministBreeder - My kids know the name and location of every single mall in a 50 mile radius. Why? NOT because I buy clothes there! It’s because ALL of the decent malls in the Chicagoland area have kids’ playplaces (indoor tot playgrounds, if you will) where they can run and jump and scream and climb – all while I sit and sip a latte. One of the nicer malls even has a two-story indoor merry-go-round! We’re at the mall probably two days out of every single week, especially on crappy weather days. Honestly, we’d probably be at a mall 5-7 days a week if it was easier to get them dressed and out of the house. Right now it takes me approximately 3.7 hours to get all three kids dressed and buckled in the car, and some days I just don’t get around to it.ReplyCancel

  • Carrie - Awesome. Love this! If you don’t already have it, there is an Amazon app for the iPhone. I think I do 90% of my shopping that way.ReplyCancel

  • David Caron - I’m not a parent yet but I can’t wait. I do have sisters and this is such a true story! I could not stop laughing to myself. I’m sharing this with Valerie and Natalie.ReplyCancel

  • Tara - It gets better. Aidan is 6.5 now. She puts herself in the car, buckles herself in, gets herself out, etc. SO much easier. I usually need to go to the bathroom more often than she does! She holds my hand so there’s no stroller to mess with & holds my purse handle or pocket if I need both hands. I PROMISE, it really, really does get better!ReplyCancel

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