Screw Tummy Time, We’ve Got Teen Mom

Well, she’s 3 months old. She went and left newborn-ness behind, and, hell, she’s as big as some one-year-olds (at least 16-17 lbs, I’m guessing). She’s 1/4 of the way through her first year, and I still feel like I’m trying to figure this whole “mother of 2” thing out.

This is her "I'm suspicious of your mothering abilities" look... or her poop face.

Yeah, I have good days when I think I’m going to get a lot accomplished (and by “a lot” I mean getting dressed, brushing my teeth, tidying the house AND returning some emails), but most of the time they go to hell by 3 in the afternoon when I’m so completely wiped out that I’m forced to nap, thus sucking any remaining productivity from my body.

It's hard work making babies smile all day.

There’s so much different this time around, and lately I’ve been feeling a little shitty about not being as involved with Leyna as I was with Kendall. Tummy time? It almost never happens. Mainly because I can’t just leave her laying on the floor while I try to get other things done. She spends a lot of time in the car, at the grocery store, running errands. I don’t have the luxury of just sitting around the house with her all day, dangling shiny things in front of her to entice her to reach with purpose and roll over.

This one time, though, she did to tummy time, and I totally had to document that shiz for my Mother Of The Year application.

I haven’t cracked open a single book about baby development since she was born. I have no freaking clue if she’s hitting her milestones… at least not according to the books. According to ME, she’s golden.  She’s smiling and pulling my hair out and hitting my boobs with her little fists when she breastfeeds. How many dirty and wet diapers? Oh hell if I know. Enough to equal a load of diapers every other day. Sounds pretty normal to me. And while I’ll have no idea how many times a day she eats when the pediatrician asks me next month, and I’ll probably just pull a random number out of my ass, she’s clearly eating enough.

The leg chub. I die. But really, I think those leggings might be cutting off her circulation.

Okay, so maybe we aren’t working on the “traditional” goals for a 3 month old you’d find in What To Expect The First Year, but it doesn’t mean she’s missing out on early enrichment. For one, she LOVES to watch HGTV, DIY Network and (her favorite!) Nate Berkus with me. Not lying, folks. This girl lives for a good home improvement show. I see a bright future for her as an interior designer, landscaper or architect. See? A little early career prep.

"Now THAT is a great idea for throw pillows!" For real, she is watching Nate Berkus from the comfort of her hand-me-down Bumbo in this.

She also enjoys watching Teen Mom with me, and I take every opportunity to point out to her that all actions have a consequence, that 90% of 16 year old boys are giant douche bags, and that mommy would, of course, be supportive of her if she chose to become a nun… or a lesbian.

I may remember life before her, but I can’t imagine it without her. And though I may not be able to devote 100% of my time to her, like I did with Kendall, I give her 100% of my heart… all the while simultaneously giving Kendall 100% of my heart. The heart is fucking awesome like that.

Kendall is ridiculously close to turning 3 (like a month shy), and Leyna is 3 months and 1 day old.


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  1. I’ve come to realize this must be why second (and third etc) children are usually more relaxed, less type- A than 1st or only children. It’s been this way for me with my 2 daughters as well. My mom and sister were furious with me when suddenly dd#2 started crawling and I’d forgotten to tell anyone (mostly because I couldn’t tell them exactly when it happened!)- whoops!
    I love them both 100%, like you said- but life is different with #2.

  2. I understand the whole getting the hang of being a mom of 2 thing. Its a delicate balance and I’m finally getting to be able to breathe.. 10 months later. Seriously how do you get leg chub on a baby like that? I know every baby grows differently but I wish my lil man had chubby lil thighs like that.
    Keep up the good work.. one day at a time as long as you’ve had a good bonding moment with each of them at some point and they are happy and healthy thats all that matters, right?

  3. I may remember life before her, but I can’t imagine it without her.

    That line seriously just made me cry. And it only gets better from here. Today, my little man was PUSHING his sister out of the bumbo (that they are both too big for).

  4. Our kids are almost the same age, and our babies are even just about the same weight… lol I hear you here, though I think my neglectful-mommy-guilt leans more towards my 3yr old as my baby won’t allow me to set him down anywhere for long. It’s tough juggling the two… I often wonder why I thought having tow kids would be a good idea, but good lord do I love them both to death!

    *Love* the pictures. =)

  5. What a beautiful healthy chunk! As for watching those milestones… I think the 1st run teaches you so much that you just don’t feel so much need to obsess with the 2nd.

    Unless they’re 10 years apart, then you obsess all over again. At least I did.

  6. I have four kids and I feel like I should get some kind of award for keeping them all ALIVE. I couldn’t for the life of myself (or them) tell you when they hit ANY milestone but shit they must have hit them cause the three big ones are like in high school and junior high and fifth grade and they can read and spell and stuff. The baby… Well she’s six months old and weighs 23 pounds so you know I’m at the very least feeding her.

  7. I could have written a lot of this post.

    Tummy time is a joke for us. We try, and the Child Watch people they’re sending us to because R was in the NICU say he needs to spend more time there, but he’s perfect otherwise. Good to know.

    We watch Teen Mom, too. And I tell my boys that if they act like any of those boys on that show, I won’t hesitate to castrate them. Too much?

  8. Try not to feel quilty about not spending 100% of your time with #2. While you may not be able to dedicate yourself fully think about how much extra “entertainment” (or torture) that she may get from having her big brother around.

    And as for the pediatrician appointments and milestones…on more than one occassion I found myself totally caught off guard by questions. I vaguely remember sitting in the office with #2 trying to count on my hands the # of words he could say (meanwhile, my sister-in-law, who had only one child the same age as my youngest, had just emailed the family a list of the 250 words her son could say…yep, she literally typed all 250 words and documented them.)

  9. Noel is 7 months and I STILL don’t feel like I’ve got it down with 2!

    I felt like I knew EVERYTHING about motherhood with Jude – but with 2, it just made me realize how clueless I truly am.

    She is a dollbaby. Sooooo adorable and chunky. I want to eat her up!

  10. She is so adorable!

    And I’m so glad I’m not the only one who watches Teen Mom with my baby (though I try to do most of my watching while he naps…you know, instead of cleaning the house). It’s my guilty pleasure!

  11. So glad you haven’t done tummy time with #2 either – neither have I! I was commenting the other day that the only tummy time she gets is when she is lying on one of our tummies to calm her down. Which is how I noticed that she is starting to hold her head up…not like with LS, where I sat next to him on the mat and filmed him holding his head up! *sigh*

    I love her legs!!! I would like to borrow some of that lovely chubbiness for LL, her legs are still too skinny for our huge stash of BumGenius!

  12. Such a doll. She has perfected the b**ch please face. I think 2nd borns learn it sooner. So as usual I am here with the me toos. C is 6 months old and over twenty pounds. That bumbo your sweetie is lounging in? We have the same one. Her legs are now too fat for it. I cannot wait to see if L ends up bigger than C.

  13. It’s sounds to me that are doing a great job. Try not to be so hard on your self, a long with getting more attention are first born children are also our experimental children (we don’t know what the f*** we are doing).Our other children will at least get a more experienced parent that the first did. And remember Love go a long way in life 🙂

  14. Pingback: >Mommy guilt. « Froggy & the Mouse

  15. Pingback: Mommy guilt. | Froggy & the Mouse

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