Giving Myself More Credit For Surviving Colic

You know how so many things in life are much clearer, make more sense once you have something to compare them to? What’s become clear after these last few months with Leyna is how really, REALLY hard it was to be Kendall’s parent the first 3 months of his life.

The clarity comes not from realizing that it was hard for me to cope the first few months because I’ve known that all along. It comes from realizing how unusually hard he was to deal with. In a way, it’s vindication. Maybe I wasn’t a terrible mother, as I often wondered at the start of his life. Maybe he just truly had colic in the purest form, a vague “illness” that we could never figure out how to cure, despite all our desperate, passionate attempts. Maybe his unstoppable screams that dug and stabbed at my very core, that caused me to shout “SHUT THE FUCK UP!” at him at 2 am after many hours of begging, bouncing, singing and sobbing, that sent me into deep pit of guilt… maybe those weren’t *our* fault entirely. Maybe he just really was a difficult baby.

People would tell us that, reassure us that he “just has colic,” that he would grow out of it, that he was sensing our stress, that we needed to calm down, that we needed to wait it out. But at the same time, I’d be hearing from people bits of advice like, “soak in every minute of this precious time, it goes so fast,” and I wondered what the hell was wrong with me. I didn’t want to “soak in” any of it. I wanted it all to pass, fast! If 3 months was the magic age babies are supposed to grow out of colic, then I fucking wanted a 3 month old, stat. I didn’t care what I’d miss out on.

Truth be told, I didn’t cherish many moments those first few months. I have few pictures because I didn’t even feel like documenting it. And looking back, I honestly have few memories. There are vast expanses of time that I have no recollection of. I feel very sad if I think about it too much… about how much I wished away the first few months of Kendall’s life. I feel a little robbed.

Kendall at 10 weeks old, snuggled in my Moby Wrap in the Texas summer heat because it's all that soothed him.

Of course, having only that experience to relate to, I assumed my start with Leyna would be just as bad or worse, considering I’d have to split my time with her and Kendall. The first 6 weeks of her life, I waited, breath held, preparing myself for the fussiness to set in, the yelps to escalate to purple-faced screams. But, they didn’t. They never did. She is happy unless there is something tangible wrong. I then fix the tangible issue and she is happy again.

It took a long time for me to warm up to the idea of having a 2nd baby. I was still iffy when Kendall turned 20 months old and we started trying. I NEVER understood how women of babies and newborns could even contemplate for one second having another baby so soon. The 2 under 2 club boggled my ever loving mind, and the 2 under 1 club made me want to rip my ovaries out. When people would ask when we were having another one, for the longest time, I wanted to make the Scream face and run in the other direction.  And feeling like this made me think something was wrong with me. Perhaps I just wasn’t that maternal, maybe I was an awful mother for not loving my newborn so much that I wanted another at any point in the next 15 years?

But now, I get it. I totally get it. Leyna is the kind of baby that makes me love babies. Leyna is the kind of baby that bathes me in momnesia, causing me to rapidly forget the intense pain it took to bring her into this world.

Leyna at nearly 12 weeks, full of smiles and coos.

Leyna is an EASY baby. Kendall was not.

Now, don’t interpret this to mean me saying I love one child more than another (that was already covered in the blog world last week). I love them both equally, both with all the love I have to give, from the bottom of my toes, always have. But it took me a few months to really start to like Kendall. And while it’s easy to feel guilty about that, especially compared to how much more I liked Leyna from the start, how much easier it’s been to bond with her the last 3 months, this experience the 2nd time around has also helped alleviate some of the guilt I was still carrying around.

Our experience with Kendall was tough. It was NOT typical. Colic was traumatizing. Looking back, I know we did the best we could with what we had and what we knew. And after 3 months passed, I really did start to like my sweet little boy a whole hell of a lot. In my blog post from when Kendall was 12 weeks old, “I’ve Always Loved Him, But I’m Really Starting To Like Him,” I said:

You can’t fully appreciate and enjoy the good things in life unless you’ve experienced the bad, and I believe motherhood is no exception.

Oh, how wise I was as a newbie mom. In a way, I’m grateful for the rough start we had with Kendall. I think it’s shaped the way I look at motherhood for the better, knowing what we’ve been through and that we came out the other side alright. I’m just going to take this opportunity to give myself a huge pat on the back and a little more credit for dealing with all of that right out of the gates of parenthood.

Kendall is rapidly approaching 3 (I know! Right?!) and Leyna is almost 3 months (and that’s as precise as I can get until I put one of those tickers on my blog again to help me keep track).

  • TheFeministBreeder - Seriously, you are AWESOME for surviving a hard baby and then being willing to take another shot and do it all over again. I cannot say I would have been so brave. I got so ridiculously lucky with Jonas. He was the baby that would wake up and stare at the ceiling until one of us realized he was awake. I would go on and on and on about how the boy never cried. The kid slept straight through the night at less than 6 weeks old, and I constantly told people that other mothers HAD to be exaggerating when they said their kids kept them awake. I was like “DUDE… HOW! All these babies do is sleep and coo!” Omg, I was such a fucking asshole. I had NO idea what I could be in for. THAT is why we got pregnant again when he was just a year old.

    Julesy was a relatively easy baby too – except in the sleep department. He wasn’t as sleepless as some kids, but the entire time I was working, he woke up at LEAST twice a night to nurse. And here I thought that was awful. I know some moms whose babies wake up all. freaking. night. long. and NEVER go back to sleep. Having a baby that woke up twice a night was enough to have me googling adoption agencies, so I don’t know HOW these other women do it without losing their minds.

    I’m getting paid back in the toddler years though. These two boys are wound-up nutbags on crack cocaine who try to murder each other on a daily basis. Karma always has a way of paying people back for the baby period.

    Sounds like Karma owed you BIG TIME after Kendall, and that’s why you got LL Cool K and her barely-two-hour labor and easy-going personality. You were owed, woman! Enjoy it!ReplyCancel

  • Dorothy - I found myself reading this with my mouth hanging open asking, “You too?” I’ve never known anyone else who had the same experience, or at least not any who wrote about it.

    I had preemie twins who were both labeled “Colicky.” For us, that meant going to tons of doctor visits only to get no answers and STILL be up walking the halls with screaming babies.

    I, like you, could not for the life of me understand why in the world people would get pregnant again when they still had a tiny baby in the house. We didn’t even discuss it until our daughters were 18 months old and even then, it was just to agree, “No way!”

    When they started smiling (around 2 months old), I had that “I like you,” moment you mentioned. They were still difficult, but it was just easier to deal with because they interacted a bit.

    My son probably would have been considered somewhat difficult to anyone else, but after having had my twins, he was a breeze. My youngest daughter was a lot like your Leyna–a very easy baby. Whenever people try to protest over the fact that I have an easy baby, I always point out that I was due an easy one after dealing with two colicky preemies.ReplyCancel

  • Erica - I appreciate the hell out of this post. I had my easy baby first and my second was colicky. I was so blindsided by it. Like you, I don’t even remember it all clearly because I was so desperate and drained. At 8 months old he is still kind of a ‘high needs’ baby but it’s way better than it was! So glad Leyna is giving you a new perspective!!ReplyCancel

  • Amy - I am the crazy lady that has three kids under 2.5. I am so jealous that your little girl is easy :). All and I repeat all three of mine had or I should say has colic. My youngest is 11 weeks old. However, three months was not the magic age, my two had it until at least 6 months and was always a strong-willed infant and even toddler now. Thanks for that past!! I need to share a similar post on my blog, but I wanted to survive my third with colic first!!ReplyCancel

  • Janine - She is three months already?? That is the cutest pic of her I’ve seen yet, and she does look very happy. I feel so spoiled because I KNOW Sebastian is an easy baby. Accounts like yours make me terrified my next will be difficult. I’m told I was a pretty easy baby but my younger sister cried constantly. I’m already with you that 2 under 2 seems insane.ReplyCancel

  • Suzanne - I know you know our girl babies are easy twinsies but I wanted to tell you I felt the same way about Evan for his first few months. Even then I think I was suffering from Stockholm syndrome more than anything – I found a post today I wrote when he was 3 months old that was all “He’s a good baby! No really! He smiles! And, um, looks at me! And screams a lot but that’s ok! Babies do that! No really, I’m totally awesome!!!!!” I don’t remember writing it. But I do clearly remember shouting at him at 2 am and finally waking up from months of sleeplessness and thinking “what kind of nutcase ever does this AGAIN?!?!?!

    Thank God karma totally took pity on me with Caroline.ReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Hearing someone else say “just get me to 3 months” feels so good. I had easy baby #1. Why not have another 2 years later? Oops, twins. Oh dear God, twin #1 was like Kendall. I cried most days just trying to get to 3 months and wishing it away. I feel sad that I didn’t enjoy more of those moments and won’t get it again. Think it might be better to have it your way, where easy baby comes 2nd. So happy for you that you get the easy baby experience. It’s wonderful isn’t it?ReplyCancel

  • Brett - What??? Kendall is almost 3?? Um, when did THAT happen?!ReplyCancel

  • E - I had a really hard time bonding with my first. Honestly, it’s painful to think about, even now. I remember thinking that moms are supposed to fall instantly in love with their babies and there had to be something wrong with me because I didn’t. My first words to her were, “Nice to meet you.” I would say it took me a little over three months to finally get into my groove.

    Looking back, I loved her from the start but it took me a while to fall in love with her. I partially blame a 36 hour labor, filled with complications. I should have banned visitors and coslept with her in the hospital (as I did with the 2nd despite nurses yelling at me that she needed to be in that plastic tub thing). I also think that my need for control in my own life lead me to feel totally out of control with a newborn. I’m a researcher and every book I’ve read did nothing to help me parent a difficult baby.

    When I found out that I was pregnant with #2 when #1 was 8.5 months old I cried. I wasn’t happy about our whoops! pregnancy for a reeeeeeally long time. I don’t know if it’s because I’m more go with the flow this time but #2 is SUCH an easy baby.

    Sorry for the novel but I get what you’re saying. Totally get it.ReplyCancel

  • Selma - Oh, my, you too?!? Thank God, because for the first 6 months of my son’s life I thought I was going to die a self-inflicted death. I could not stand it. Very often, in those rare moments when both him and my DH would go to sleep, I would just sneak out of the apartment and go for a walk. More than once, I wanted to keep going.

    Then our daughter came, unexpectedly, and I braced myself for the worst. And, nothing happened. They are toddlers now, and we have all new set of issues, but, yeah, I hear you…ReplyCancel

  • @teamstephens - my kids were the same way (with the same initials)– K (now 4, born 12/06) was SO difficult & high maintenance… wasn’t officially “colicky”, but holy cow she was a screamer… and i had postpartum anxiety after her, making it much worse (and mking me think i was much worse). Now we have lil sis L (born 3/10), who is our laid back “easy baby”… good sleeper, not a big crier, just smiley and happy most of the time– even last week at disney, she was just awesome! its made me actually want #3 (not yet though, lol), and i know if their attitudes had been reversed we wouldve been a “2 & we’re through” couple. glad to see im not the only one!!ReplyCancel

  • Meghan - Thank you so much for this post! I have felt guilty so many times since my son was born that I loved him completely the first few months, but really didn’t like him much. You give me hope that easy babies really do exist! Glad to hear things are going so much more smoothly for you this time around!!ReplyCancel

  • Laura - I give you credit for not kicking the idiot that told you to just calm down when dealing with a colicy baby. What a turd!
    Parenting is hard! Parenting a difficult baby is hard x10000!ReplyCancel

  • Kelly J - I also had the very colicky & refluxy baby, and it did get somewhat better after 3 months, but it was probably more like 6 months before he became very “likable”. Our constant mantra was “at least he’s cute!”.

    People who haven’t dealt with it just truly have no idea what it’s like. I hope and pray that when we have another, we are blessed with an “easy” or at least “easier” baby.

    I was just discussing with my husband the other day the bond the dog and I developed over the early months of Cameron’s life from battling in the trenches every day together. War is really the only somewhat suitable analogy I can come up with.ReplyCancel

  • M&Co. - I think the newborn “thing” is highly overrated and they should be delivered at about 6 months when they really start being fun.ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - I’m so glad you are giving yourself credit. Don’t forget – you were also taking care of your toddler niece during that time. You are AMAZING for surviving all of that and raising a lovey, sweet, beautiful boy. (PS If you ever had an update on her, would love to hear it but understand if you want to keep her life private.)

    So happy for you that you have an easy baby now. So glad you can see that it is *not* about loving one more than another (ugh) but that some babies are easy and some are hard. Hubby and I joke about how much credit we take for our kid, but it’s just dumb luck, pure, dumb luck, no special parenting skills or anything like that.ReplyCancel

  • Cheryl - Thank you for posting this. My first son had horrible colic and I remember staring at this screaming baby in my arms and thinking “I know I am supposed to like you”.

    I often wondered how I could go through all those months of pregnancy and 25 hours of labor only to have a baby and not “feel” that overwhelming motherly adoration for him. I was so exhausted after his birth that I barely remember them handing him to me and I pretty much blocked out the next 10 weeks for fear of an emotional breakdown. What I do remember is sitting in my home, all alone with my screaming newborn and bloody nipples, thinking “why did I give up my old life for this?” and I cried…a lot because I felt like such a failure.

    But something magical happened when he turned 11 weeks old and suddenly, without warning, I was head-over-heels madly in love and like with my son. I found out I was pregnant with baby #2 when my first was 13-months-old and I cried but I also knew it would all turn out ok. And here I sit, 11 weeks pregnant with baby #3 while my two-year-old is napping and his four-year-old brother is making a giant mess…and I still know it will all be OK.ReplyCancel

  • Bryce - Thanks so much for writing a post about this. I guess I should give myself double credit since I had two babies with colic… seriously. I still can’t even believe it myself.

    Anyway, you’ve wrote it more eloquently than I could have ever attempted, thank you for that and the validation.ReplyCancel

  • Jayme - Ahhhh….thank you so much for posting this! My baby girl is now 13 weeks old and we’re finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of the hell that is colic. I’ve felt so much guilt from the numerous melt downs (both hers and mine!) that have caused me to yell and cry and feel like a failure (it’s nice to know I’m not the only one who has dropped the f-bomb to my baby…). I commend anyone who has gone through it and I’m so thankful to hear that there’s hope that the second time around can be a much more pleasant experience (though that’s totally not on my mind yet… definitely need some more time to recover!)
    p.s. Leyna is such a cutie!ReplyCancel

  • Heidi - This is very similar to my story. It really wasn’t until I had my second baby that I realized I wasn’t crazy & that my first really was that bad with the colic. Several people thought I was crazy or just a silly first time mom. But, with the second very easy baby- it’s like vindication that yes #1 was colicky & not my fault. Thanks for sharing your story!ReplyCancel

  • Amy - I love your honesty. And I’m tearing up right now b/c I have felt this exact same way. Like something is wrong with ME b/c I didn’t like having a baby. My daughter is 2 and 3 months, and I’m terrified to have another kid. I just want there to be a 4 months in our midst just like *that*. Pregnancy gave me Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis that has morphed into hypothyroidism that keeps me sleepy and bigger than I’m used to being. I’m scared being pregnant will do something else crappy to me. And the first 3-4 months with Presley were horrible, and I always thought it was me and the way I viewed it. I’ve felt “robbed” of those precious bonding moments that are supposed to happen. I’m happy to now that it’s not always like that, and this post actually makes me hopeful. So thank you.ReplyCancel

  • Leah - It’s so reassuring to read this. I have been terrified of number 2 (who doesn’t exist yet for all I know) because of how difficult number 1 was. I have had flashbacks to bouncing and shushing and swaddling, always feeling like I was not soothing well enough. I could not fix what made him cry. And the memory still causes so much tension. But, we’re trying for number 2 and I long for him/her like someone is missing from our family. I just pray that the next one isn’t colicky. Oh please God don’t make me go through that again.ReplyCancel

  • Mae - I’m so happy that you got an easier 2.0 experience! I confess, my first kid being a golden angel sometimes scares the crap out of me, because I truly have no idea how I will deal with a difficult baby.

    I mean, other than bug you constantly for advice.

    Because that’s pretty much my only plan.ReplyCancel

  • tobasco - I have to tell you that reading this post really was meaningful to me. While my daughter wasn’t colicky, we certainly had our boatload of problems. Looking back now I’m 100% certain I had PPA if not PPD on top of that. There were soooo many changes in my life at the time, with no help, multiple doctor’s visits per week, guilt guilt and mooooore guilt. I could go on and on. There were days I just cried the entire day. DH would come home from 12 or 13 hours at work and I would jokingly hand the baby to him and run upstairs— or at least he thought it was a joke. I would just go upstairs and sit on the bathroom floor and cry some more.

    My daughter is 19 months tomorrow, and I have to say it was maybe 14 months before I truly started to enjoy her. Before I returned to the laid back person I used to be. Before I realized nothing needed to be PERFECT. Before I could chill the eff out. My friend’s husband asked me today when we’ll be having more and my reaction was NEVER!!!!!!! Which isn’t true, but that’s what I blurted out before I even had time to think.

    Clearly I need more time.

    I am still at the stage where I am in the process of forgiving myself for the way things went in the beginning. It truly wasn’t until the 5th person in a row (in one week!) said to me, “man she’s such a difficult baby!” that I started to think maybe it wasn’t me.

    Thank you for this post. I will keep it tucked into my back pocket, to reflect on when I need encouragement. If the whole karma thing is true, then my 52 hour complication-ridden labor will be balanced out by a pain free surprise home birth… right? And my 19 month old who still wakes up at night will be counterd with a newborn who sleeps through the night from day one? right? RIGHT?! :)ReplyCancel

  • Gena - Thank you for this! Too many of us don’t talk of our experiences and we should. I too, suffered with a difficult baby who screamed bloody fucking murder for the first 6 months of her life. The time included several specialists, medication experiments, diet changes (I went off dairy for a year), and worst of all, a swirling, sinking depression that just about killed me. I lost friends from their ignorant comments and spent months locked up in the house, blinds drawn, windows closed so as to not annoy the neighbors.
    I read somewhere that parents whose babies have colic symptoms (I found through my research that colic is not a disease so much as symptomatic of another prob) suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder . . . and I believe it. I can think tear up just thinking for a moment about that time.
    I’m pregnant again now, mainly out of that sibling obligation/age restraint thing more than anything else. My thought on babyhood is that it is just a means to an end with little to enjoy. I hear stories like yours and have some hope, but figure that IF it were to happen to someone twice, it would definitely be me. Soooo happy that you are getting a ‘realistic’ baby experience this time!

    Thanks again! We do not give ourselves enough or any credit for keeping ourselves and families alive through those times! I can’t tell you the number of times I fantasized about packing up my car and driving into the sunset when my daughter was a babe.ReplyCancel

  • Stephanie - I only have one child but this post and the Babble post really have me thinking about how things will be different the next time around. My experience the first few months was similar to yours: I loved my daughter and it’s that love that got me through the day, but I didn’t love my motherhood experience and I think it stems from not liking my daughter in the beginning. The first few months with her were horrible and I would pray for time to either speed on by or for me to be whisked away to somewhere quiet where I could cry and focus on myself. I think it also didn’t help that I thought I was supposed to immediately be in love and comfortable with being a mother and the fact that I wasn’t made me feel like something was wrong with me. I now know that what and how I felt was normal and that I wasn’t alone.ReplyCancel

  • Brandi - I will try to keep this short and to the point…try. I have two babies – Daughter almost 3 and Son, almost 8 months. After my daughter’s birth it was PURE euphoria. You can image my surprise when my son was born with colic.

    -Just realized as I am typing this, my anxiety level raise. Looking back on those months is VERY hard –

    I have often wondered what would have been worse, having the colic baby first or second? The pros to having the colic baby second was I knew that it really wasn’t me that was causing this. On the flip side, having the colic baby second was absolutely traumatizing to my daughter and the precious relationship that we had before he was born. The second he came home…what we had was over. There was no time for her anymore, if I even took a moment to make her a meal or give her a bath it was companied with purple faced screams the entire time. There was no real transition period for us…many nights were filled with apologetic tears to my poor daughter. It was a hard time, to say the least.

    On a good note, things are starting to turn around and I remember about 4-5 month thinking “Now THIS is why I wanted to have another baby”. So things do get easier, but you and I both know…it takes a long time to get there – long after your baby is “cured” from colic.

    Every Mother deserves to experience the euphoria of a newborn, like you have with Leyna. Enjoy it! :)

    P.S. Speaking of my colic son, here is two videos of him. I am now having the euphoric experience with him…it just took longer and is VERY appreciated :)

    http://s925.photobucket.com/albums/ad95/brandileethomason/?action=view&current=MVI_4137.mp4

    http://s925.photobucket.com/albums/ad95/brandileethomason/?action=view&current=MVI_4138.mp4ReplyCancel

  • Melissa - I couldn’t have read this post at a better time, as the husband and I have recently begun to discuss baby #2. My daughter, who will be three in July, also had colic and reflux and the first six months of her life were extremely challenging. I’m fortunate in that it didn’t prevent me from bonding with her, but there were absolutely days that I didn’t particularly enjoy being her mother. I always feel a sadness about that, but reading stories like yours give me a little hope that the second time around could bring an entirely different experience.ReplyCancel

  • Rachel - Amen! My son was not colicky (he was consolable) but he was very “high needs” – as in, he would cry unless he was being held upright over my shoulder (we think it may have been mild reflux), and could never just be left in his swing/bouncy chair/bed. He did not sleep well at all, at almost a year he still wakes up several times a night, we cosleep for my sanity. I was so sleep deprived for the first 6 months, and exhausted from carrying him everywhere all the time, not to mention not being able to get anything else done ever… I can’t say I miss those first few months in the least. People would ask me “how’s motherhood” and I couldn’t even lie and say it was ok. I wanted to say I’m miserable! But thankfully that time did pass and at almost a year – despite the sleep issues – he is a really easy going, happy, laid back baby.ReplyCancel

  • ellen - Many people just.do.not.get.it! Colic is horrible! I remember friends being like, “oh, it’s not that bad! She seems fine.”. Well! It was not fine! You are not there when we are having those moments of the day. It was horrible and it was traumatizing, especially for DH. He still can’t believe I would ever want to go through that again.
    She never napped! Sleeping cooing baby my ass! I remember reading books like baby’s first year week by week mentioning the total hours of sleep needed and thinking wow, babies actually do that? When she did nap, it was on me. Luckily she would sleep in her crib at night, but I could not put her down for long during the day. She was even pissed off in a sling! I was excited to go back to work because then I would get a break. I felt so guilty for thinking it, but work saved my sanity until colic passed. Then hit RSV and multiple ear infections leading to tubes and allergist visits. Finally at about a year, things started to level out.
    Surviving that was a miracle! Congrats to you and all of the other colic moms!ReplyCancel

  • Erin - What truly reassured me was to hear of another Mom who actually said the words, SHUT THE FUCK UP, to her kid, as I have. I feel like the worst mother on the planet, but after months and months of a colic, non-sleeping baby that’s all I was left with. I used to leave my son on the bed and shake the bed screaming WHAT DO YOU WANT and feeling like the worlds most horrible mother, a failure, and thinking I am not the type that should procreate.

    I always wanted 4 kids and grew up in a house with 4 kids. I felt like an epic failure when my son was born. I didn’t instantly want to jump in front of a bus to save him, I “got along” with him those first 6 months (and not always). He not only had colic, but a terrible case of GERD that caused projectile vomiting 50-100 times a day. I was beat.

    Instead of being scared of #2, I went in with I better get going now because if this doesn’t end, I will never have another kid again. I want to get all the bad stuff out of the way at the same time. And here I am about to have #2 (my son is 16 months) and I just pray that I get an easier baby. Because like you, I need a little validation that what I went through with the first was not all my fault. And I’ve discovered that I can block those first months out and what I’m left with is a love like no other.ReplyCancel

  • Ruth - Just found your blog through “Suburban Turmoil”. Slowly reading and catching up. Mommy blogs are my guilty pleasure now when naps come around.
    Thanks for this post. I’m glad to know I definitely wasn’t the only one. I am a military wife and my husband was overseas when our little girl was born. I had a wonderful pregnancy, and hadn’t read much on babies. How hard could it be?
    Well, being alone taking care of a no sleeping baby, house, dog, 2 cats, with noooo sleep whatsoever. I finally had a meltdown. I was later diagnosed with Post-partum depression. Now 2 ½ yrs later I look back and wish I could do it all over again. If I knew then what I know now deal. I’m not quite ready for #2, but I know it will happen in its own time.
    Thanks again
    RuthReplyCancel

  • Morgan - Thanks for everyone’s comments here! I have a 12 month old boy (my only child) and it was a VERY rough year!! 3 months of 24/7 colicky crying, 3 more months of daily excruciating gas attacks, another 3 months of frequent screaming gas attacks, and at the same time he also got constant colds. He just finally started sleeping through the night (10 nights in a row now). I am scared to death to have a second child after all we have been through buy I here it is rare to have two colicky/sensitive kids in a row…hopefully this is true!ReplyCancel

  • Allina - My daughter is 6 weeks old and is colic with acid reflux. Your post sounds exactly like me. I feel really bad and guilty that I do not have those butterfly feelings for my daughter but it has been so hard. I too get angry and exhausted and want to leave her at the forestation by my house sometimes. It is the most horrible thing I have ever had to go through. The woman who says she has 3 under 2.5 and they all had colic must not know what colic is. There is no way that is possible unless she is retarded. No one in there right mind would logically do that to themselves. I am just trying to get to the other side of this thing. I am hoping 3 months will be the magical age. I really want to love my baby.ReplyCancel

  • Jacqui Mccalister - I can so relate to this. My baby was very colicky, even at two had ~30 tantrums a day. Today he had at least 10 and he’s almost 5! He’s much easier now and a joy to be around (he does talk a lot, a lot).ReplyCancel

  • Vacationing With Just One Baby - [...] the kid had colic and screamed most of the first 3 months of his life. So I really can’t fault us at all for [...]ReplyCancel

  • Carin - Thank you for this post! I just wrote a VERY similar one. I can so relate to the guilt of wanting the time to pass quickly. It makes me feel awful even thinking it now. NO one can truly understand how hard a colicky baby is unless they have had one. It still makes me quiver thinking back over the last few months. I am SO glad it is behind me, but still fearful it will return somehow! It has definitely made me rethink wanting another baby. So happy to hear that your 2nd was easier!

    Carin @ http://www.thebabydoctorswife.wordpress.comReplyCancel

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