The Bright Side Is… I Look 8?

Last night was rough. Not  a lot of sleeping going on for any of us (except the newborn… I’m not even going to tell you all how well she sleeps for fear of death threats and bombs sent to my doorstep). So Starbucks was a necessity while we were out this morning. Before braving the coffee run with a toddler and a newborn in tow, I figured I’d go ahead and feed and change Leyna in the comfort of the warm Jeep. After all, it’s not like I could rely on this particular Starbucks have a changing table for me.

I hoped in the back on the passenger side in the only open seat next to the two carseats. After I finished feeding her and changing her on my lap (gah! how crazy that she is still tiny enough to do that?), I went to open the door only to discover I was LOCKED IN. Oh, the beauty of child safety locks.

No, I couldn’t roll down the windows, the windows were locked, too.

No, I couldn’t climb into the front seat. I tried. My ass got stuck halfway over Leyna’s infant seat and I nearly decapitated her with my knee.

I was stuck. But just when I was thinking I’d have to set off the alarm to catch somebody’s attention, I saw a man and woman leave and head to the truck parked next to me.

I began banging furiously on the window. “HEY!! HEY! I’m stuck!”

The man definitely saw me. He made eye contact, then hurriedly rushed to the other side of his truck. Jerk.

So then I caught the woman’s attention. “HEY! I – NEED – HELP!” I mouthed.

She, too, acted like she didn’t see me. What the hell, people?

The guy came back around to the driver’s side and I gave it all I had. “I’M STUUUUUUCK. HELLLLLPPP!!”

(Please also imagine many flailing hang gestures describing my sticky predicament.)

He very cautiously approached the car. “PLEASE- OPEN- THE- DOOR. CHILD- LOCKS.”

With much hesitation and a very suspicious look on his face, he slowly reached down and openened the door.

“Oh, thank you! I’m so sorry. Child saftety locks. I locked myself in here. I know I TERRIFIED you,” I said at rapid-fire.

“No, you didn’t terrify me. I thought you were an 8 year old girl left in the car. I was going to go inside and see if I could find your mommy,” he replied matter of factly.

“Ha. No. That would be ME. I’m the mommy… the mommy who locked herself in her car. So, thanks again.” And then I went in and got my coffee… the coffee I CLEARLY needed much earlier in the day.

Kendall is 2 2/3 and Leyna is 1 month old… and I look 8, so Yay!?

  • pamela - OMG I’m sorry but I had to laugh…

    because it just sounds like something that would happen only to me.

    I have the worst luck EVERReplyCancel

  • Michelle - Ha! I soooo wish someone would tell me that I look 8 today. I feel 58.ReplyCancel

  • Lenore - It’s okay. On more than one occasion, I have answered MY front door and been greeted with, “Hi! Is your Mom or Dad home?”

    Yeah.ReplyCancel

  • Cyndi - Jill…that is hysterical! I belly-laughed after reading your entry. Hilarious!ReplyCancel

  • dianthe - omg – that is HYSTERICAL!!! that’s totally something that would happen to me as i routinely get in the back seat with the door closed to get Myles out of the car and into the sling – only i’m a slacker mom and haven’t engaged the child locks!

    thanks for the laugh!ReplyCancel

  • Shari - Oh goodness … this sounds like something that you’d think only happens on Candid Camera! Glad you were finally able to get out – and hey, look how many people you made smile with your story!ReplyCancel

  • KPalmer - Just a tip – if you reach between the seat & the side of the car & grab the tilty-handle (for the seat back) you can usually lean the seat far enough forward to reach the front door window buttons.

    Not that I would know that from experience or anything.ReplyCancel

  • The Vintage Chain - OMG!! That is so HILARIOUS! I’m sure it wasn’t at the time though. I’ve been asked once or twice answering the door if my mom or dad was home. I used to get carded at the store until last week…it was a sad day for me when the guy didn’t even bother to check my id. I guess I finally look old.ReplyCancel

  • Helen - Yep, I was laying with my children’s they fell asleep while reading this on my iPod touch. When I got to the part where he thought you were 8 I disrupted the kids 100% with a huge burst of laughter! It was worth it though- that’s pretty damn funny.ReplyCancel

  • Sara - LOL – thanks for the laugh. New moms need to get all the laughs they/we can. So, how are you so tired when your newborn is sleeping so well? Please share! We get 5-6 hours on the first leg of the night sleep and then 2-3 hours after that feed. Of course I’m usually up every hour 4 hours into the first leg to make sure she’s ok. Now I remember why I had to get anxiety meds with my first one at this point.ReplyCancel

  • Momma Jorje - LMAO – OMG thank you for sharing this adorable story! Could you not reach the “turn the child lock off button” in the front? Or maybe yours are inside the back doors? Anyway, thank you! You poor thing.ReplyCancel

  • Upstatemamma - Oh that is so funny!!! I absolutely cracked up (woke up my husband and everything) reading this.ReplyCancel

  • Alexandria - That is hilarious!ReplyCancel

  • Emily - That’s scary and hilarious all at the same time! I also got stuck (locked in my older son’s room) and lived to blog about it. Barely. ::eye-twitch::

    http://himynameisjack.blogspot.com/2011/01/crime-scene.htmlReplyCancel

  • Adam - You might be frustrated with Starbucks for not having a baby changing table in the women’s restroom, but you should try being a stay at home dad.
    If you can’t convince them to put on in the women’s, us guys have absolutely NO chance of getting one.
    And, since I’m much less flexible (and bigger) than an average woman, I really hope I don’t get stuck in the back seat. With my luck the guy would call the cops because he thought I was stealing the car!ReplyCancel

  • Heather - I am so sorry that happened, but it is so stinking hilarious! Thanks for sharing. And yes, you totally look 8 and that’s amazing. 🙂ReplyCancel

  • Carrie - Wait!!!! I’m still stuck on the first paragraph where you say this child SLEEPS?!?! Please tell me it is true. I am expecting Baby #2 in July and hope and pray every day for a child that sleeps (since the first, who is two years old, STILL doesn’t sleep!). Is it really possible?ReplyCancel

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