The end is definitely near. I’ve been in denial about this pregnancy actually coming to a close and producing a real, live baby, but I think my body is trying to override my brain and make me wake up to the fact that this is happening… very, very soon. Ways my body is shaking me and shouting, “HELLO! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!” include the following:
1. So visibly exhausted merely pushing a cart through a store that employees are stopping me and asking if I need a motorized one. I have to decline and point out that the 38 lb toddler is a little too big to throw in the front basket.
2. Waking up choking on my own stomach acid. My reflux is so bad now that even my super strong dose of Zantac, taken twice a day, is NO match for the lava that is insisting on finding it’s way back up to my mouth.
3. MORE stretchmarks… because, you know, the vast array I collected while pregnant with Kendall just weren’t enough for my cannonball belly this time around. They are now showing up ON TOP of my stomach. How completely unfair is that?
4. The return of morning sickness along with an uncomfortable, I ate too much feeling that lasts all day. I need to approach eating like that of a gastric bypass patient these days, it seems. Obviously there’s not even enough room for the acid in my stomach, let alone a whole sandwich (which I still wish could be slathered in grout and dunked in laundry detergent because, yes, still going strong with the Pica).
5. False labor.
Oh yeah, that last one was super fun this weekend. I began feeling contractions in a pattern, accompanied by some lower back pain and cramping while at an event in the city on Saturday night. They continued every 2-3 minutes my whole drive back and for another hour and a half after I got home. I finally got them to go away with lots of water, general laziness and a bubble bath. The whole time all I could think was, “This absolutely can NOT happen now. I have entirely too much laundry to clean and the birthing tub and carseat won’t arrive in the mail until later this week!”
It really drove the point home that, despite the level of sheer exhaustion I’m unable to shake, somehow I have to get ready to have this baby. Which meant I went into furious planning mode and made a list that is plastered on the refrigerator. Just making the list took nearly all the energy I had, I have no f-ing idea how I’m going to summon the strength I need to actually cross everything off of it.
So I leave you with this lesson, especially for all you second-time moms. You may *think* you have all the time in the world. You may be in disbelief at how fast this pregnancy is flying by and your reaction may be to bury your head in the sand and think at some point time will magically stand still or at least slow to allow you to get things accomplished. You WILL BE WRONG, and you will be screwed. Oh, how I wish I would have got so much more done back in my 2nd trimester when I experienced that brief renewal. Listen to me when I say do not count on getting anything of significance done the last 8 weeks of your pregnancy, especially when you are in charge of keeping a toddler alive. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Kendall is 2.5 and I’m 35.5 weeks pregnant… and screwed