6 weeks away from the arbitrary day in which I may or may not deliver my 2nd baby. (YOU HAVE SIX WEEKS TO GET YOUR CHRISTMAS SHOPPING DONE HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!) Things are getting, as good ol’ Alice, you know, from Wonderland, would say, “Curiouser and curiouser.”

Let me give you a quick Pica update. I still have it.

I did suck on that rock. It was delicious, grainy and, um, rocky just like I expected. I believe I shall indulge in rock sucking more often. And I’ll save the rock in baby girl’s baby memorabilia to show her some day, which may seem super bat-shit crazy to many of you, but it could be worse. I could be the type to save umbilical cords. I think a scab trumps a rock any day on the gross/weird/WTF factor when it comes to saving things to share and embarrass children.

I wish I could say the rock-sucking was enough to satisfy those Pica cravings, but my husband started work on renovating our laundry room this week (tangent alert- if you had a baby due in 6 weeks and a list a mile long of other, IMPORTANT things to accomplish before then, would re-tiling your laundry room be anywhere but at the very bottom?). He started chipping away at tile while I was napping one day and I emerged to find another, mouth-watering pile of mortar and grout chips on the floor. WANTED TO NOM THEM SO HARD. What’s worse? I couldn’t stop thinking about how they probably smelled like laundry soap, which I’ve suddenly found (the smell) as appetizing as fresh Mexican queso. What a magical, fucked up combination!!

Yes, still taking iron. Yes, midwife still aware of situation.

He begins re-grouting tonight, and I’m sure I’ll sit in the hall and gaze at him like he’s cooking up t-bone steaks. But don’t worry, I have a can of frosting at the ready. The frosting, though not at all close the gritty, dirty, rocky taste I crave, is what I imagine to be the same consistency of the grout. <<YES,  I know this is all so certifiably insane.

In other news, I now need a bra for my bump. And not a pretty, delicate, lacy bra. It’s the boob bra equivalent to those maximum security breast retractors, complete with heavily padded, 3 inch wide straps. Think Mrs. Doubtfire.

It looks like this

Sexy, no? Really, the combination of me walking around in this, my old, breastmilk-stained sleep bras (because I can’t STAND any of my other bras now) and my husband’s old t-shirts is going to make this our last kid.

Why the need for something so utterly constricting and unflattering? (You should really see the way it lifts and separates my back fat.)

Because it’s *supposed* to help with the pain I feel in my crotch, the pain that feels like I rode a horse for 10 hours. I do not recall ever experiencing this with Kendall. This time, though, anytime I even sit upright for more than 5 minutes, I feel like the bones in my crotch are being ripped in half.

When I was pregnant with Kendall I just got big everywhere. I had a big belly, but I carried him practically in my boobs.. and my thighs… and my butt. It wasn’t cute. Now, I feel like I’m *mostly* all belly, which is great for pictures and TERRIBLE for my comfort level.

Exhibit A:

You know I love you when I don't bother cleaning my mirror before taking a self-portrait that showcases my stretchmarks.

Does that give you an idea? I mean, it hangs so low that I can’t even cross my legs when I sit. So that, apparently, is part of the reason for the unbearable, who the hell just kicked me in the crotch? pain… and why I need a bra for my bump.

And I’ve still got 6 weeks left! Which is not nearly enough time and an ETERNITY all at once.

And at the rate I’ve been taking baths lately, it’s possible there will be a serious water supply issue come Christmas. If I could live in my soaking bathtub for then next 6 weeks, I would. It’s the only place I can get comfortable. Sitting means crotch pain, laying means back pain, standing means I’m going to be short of breath and my right leg will most likely go numb. Walking is… torture. But floating, I can do.

Looking forward to 6 more weeks of insane cravings for rocks and laundry soap, all while wearing my bump bra and icing my crotch.

23 thoughts on “Curiouser and Curiouser”

  1. I so, SO feel you on the crotch pain. I’ve found a heating pad really helps. [If you’re up to dealing with the sewing machine for 5 minutes – take a kitchen towel, fold in half, stitch up most of the way, fill with rice & close the edge. Voila! Instant great heating pad. Just don’t put it in the microwave for more than 3 or 4 minutes at a time.]

    I’ve got 17 days left until my c/s, and I can’t figure out whether I’m looking forward to the baby being here or finally getting some relief from the pain, inability to breathe, and obsessive need to raise our quarterly water bill all on my own.

  2. I can’t figure out if I need one of these yet or not. For some reason, this time my bump is HORIZONTAL or something, like I am walking around with a torpedo sticking out the front. It’s kinda gross. I wonder if I should support it somehow before it stretches my stomach all out of wack permanently…

  3. Oh Jill. I am laughing so hard right now. I cannot believe how crazy those cravings are! I was low on iron and never had any of that. I always craved donuts and ice cream 🙂

    Also? I had to wear that stupid ugly thing when I was pg with Landon. He rested so low it was terribly painful in my crotch and lower back. I didn’t find it to help that much though. I called it the husband repellant though! He wouldn’t touch me.

  4. We are have identical pregnancies. Well, besides the Pica. All I can think about is how horrible the heartburn would be if I ate grout, so I’ll stick to my Ritz crackers.

    The good news is the crotch pain (which I had the first go-round too) goes away almost IMMEDIATELY after delivery. Or really, there are just all sorts of new pains in the crotchal area, so by the time THOSE go away the current pain is gone too.

  5. While I never experienced the Pica, the crotch pain was almost unbearable with my second pregnancy. I tried one of those belly bra things and everytime I put it on I’d start having contractions. So I iced my crotch everyday, it was AWFUL, so I really feel your pain in that department. I do agree with the comment above, it went away immediately after delivery !

  6. Oh my goodness, you are hysterical! I’ve heard of Pica but to hear you describe your cravings had me peeing a little!
    I had the ECP (evil crotch pain) too. Hang in there! You are beautiful, btw!

  7. Ah. The belly bra. Hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. But like I said, I credit that crotch pain with my ability to push out the nearly-10-lber, so maybe this baby will just slide right out! I’m 18 weeks and I’m already having that pain, which makes me think this one may be a solid 12 lbs by April. Lord help me.

    Yes, and swimming? Can you do that? That’s specifically why I joined the Y this time.

  8. I also had the crotch pain, but I had a previous pelvic fracture. It was almost unbearable. NO ONE ever told me about this! Grr! It probably would have made a world of difference for me.

    And I am one of those crazy mom’s…I saved my son’s umbilical cord stump. I also have every band aid from every shot. Weird I know. He’s only 2 now but I’m sure he will appreciate it when he gets older.

  9. I loved my belly bra! I carried my 2nd and especially my 3rd (who I got preggers w/ only *cough* 5 months later) soooo low. It was so painful that I got stuck on the floor and had to call my husband home from work to rescue me. More than once. HONEST. I have a friend who specializes in women’s physical therapy and she had me do exercizes that really helped . . .only my brain is so adled I can’t remember. But maybe you could ask the same kind of PT?

  10. I feel you on the carrying so low you can’t cross your legs thing. I am incredibly short-waisted. There was nowhere for Joshua to go but out and down. And he was loooooow. And way out there. And I was enormous.

    I hope the next one is kinder to me.

  11. I’ve had some of the same groin pain! I learned at my childbirthing class that it is round ligament pain and, yeah, the attractive belly-bras are supposed to help. But my instructor also recommended that I be careful when rolling over in bed–get on hands and knees to change sides rather than lurching the belly over because that strains the ligaments. She said to avoid twisting your torso one way and your legs another (like when getting into a car or SUV). And the other thing I have to watch out for is when my dog pulls when I’m walking him–I can’t let him twist me around. Hope that you’re feeling better soon!

  12. Your rock talk makes my teeth hurt BAD! Also, I wish I would have had a belt like that during my pregnancy. I didn’t even find out they existed until a couple weeks before delivery. Boo.

    Cute bump. =)

  13. I so know how you feel. I had the same horrible torturous crotch pain with my (today) 1 year old. It was horrible. I also had him crushing my (sorry for the spelling) Syiatic Nerve so that i got a horiible shooting pain up and down my leg and back. He was definitely trying to make sure he was the last.

  14. Ok first, your belly is beautiful! Seeing that belly makes me want to be pregnant again except then I remember all the pain and discomfort involved in being that far along and I realize I’d rather see someone else be pregnant than myself. Hopefully the next 6 weeks fly!

  15. So, I’ve been reading your blog since the knot days and just now commenting… I’m a stalker/lurker. Apologies.

    Crotch pain! Why doesn’t anyone fess up about this business. When I tried to explain it to my doctor, they were afraid I was dialating at 17 weeks. It was awful. I found physical therapy and sleeping with a pillow between my legs to be my saving grace. Good luck, you’re in the home stretch now!

  16. Wow, this was EXACTLY how I was feeling when I was pregnant with BG2! That pain was unbearable, especially when I laid down, I almost didn’t want to sleep bc it hurt to lay down haha. (not to mention how uncomfortable it was to sleep anyways & the constant pee breaks)

    It’s those girls I tell you, they make you work for it!

  17. OH please tell me what your “belly bra” is called.. and did you get it with a perscription?? aka.. i hope insurance covers it!.. I could have used something like this with my last pregnancy- and I’m assuming with everything as stretched out in there as it is- if I shoot for a #3 this would be DELIGHTFUL!

    Thanks!

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