I Did A Little Decorating Today

Despite the fact that the man promised me I would maintain full control over the temperature of the house throughout the duration of the pregnancy, per the terms of our negotiations, he KEEPS ON CHEATING and thinking I’m not going to notice.

Oh, I WILL NOTICE a one degree jump in temperature around here, buddy. Make no mistake about that.

And, no, I don’t care if he lays there at night, 2 blankets on top of him… shivering because *I* am nearly naked with not so much as a sheet on and the ceiling fan blasting over head, STILL sweating and cursing the damn Snoogle for not having built in AC.

I live in Texas, it’s August, I’m pregnant <WORST. COMBO. EVER.

Wait… no, add to that I’m chasing a *toddler*. <THAT IS THE WORST COMBO EVER.

I will own up to my bitchiness. I am a big, pregnant, HOT (and not in the Heidi Klum way) B-I-T-C-H.

So touch it ONE MORE TIME, dude. I dare you.

Kendall is 2 1/4 and has the coolest room in the house, which I might boot him out of so HE can sleep with his father, and I’m 22 weeks pregnant.

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Comments

  1. 1
    Erin says:

    AMAZING.

    2.) WTF is it only set on 75? You have every right to a 70 IMO.

  2. 3
    Kelly says:

    LOL
    I remember when my roommate was pregnant. *Shiver* I had to wear layers in the house

  3. 4
    Megan says:

    I had my first baby in November. In southern AZ. With no a/c. It was still almost 100 degrees the day he was born. its like torture. I feel your pain. really really.

  4. 5
    Tottums says:

    My iPhone said today’s high was supposed to be 106*.

    FML.

  5. 6
    Tena says:

    I wish we had A/C. I woke up sweating this morning while the husband shivered under the sheet. Granted, it was 81 freaking degrees in our house this morning, because *somebody* closed all the windows last night. Ugh. Pregnant in August in CO is not so fun. At least it will be cooler soon. I just keep telling myself that.

  6. 7
    Meri says:

    Um, I’m only in NC, NOT pregnant, and I regularly turn ours down to 74. Just do it ;)

    • 8
      Sarah says:

      I’m in NC too, and I have the opposite problem as Jill – my husband likes it cool in the house all the time, so I’m the one left shivering! I had to convince him long ago to at least let me bump it up to 70 from the regular 68 or 69… and he asks me why I still wear my hoodie around the house in the summer?!?

      He’ll probably love it one day if I’m pregnant and needing it cool in the house, haha.

  7. 9

    75?!! LOL, ours ranges from 68 to 70 on an average day. This is why I was so thankful to be hugely pregnant in the winter. You are definitely not asking for much! He can put on a sweater and give you back your one degree!

  8. 10
    Karla says:

    This is hilarious! I’m feeling the same way, SO ready for fall!

  9. 11
    { J } says:

    That gave me deja vu, except I was in Florida. I agree about the Snoogle. It should have built-in ice packs or some other cooling mechanism. You *have* to sleep with a supportive something-or-other – but pillows are so HOT! I’d wake up drenched, draped over my inferno of a body pillow. But try sleeping without it, and the resulting hip and back pain are killers. Just can’t win.

    I slept better once Babies were here. Not that I slept *more*, but when I did get some ZZZs, I slept HARD (that is, after the insane hormone-related night sweats of the first two weeks were done).

  10. 12
    Catherine says:

    You are generous with the 75! Major kudos to you. I live in Florida and have been pregnant twice in the summer, seriously, if it went above 68 I was screaming at my husband. He became a polar bear. The pregnancy sweats are the worst!

  11. 13
    Mary says:

    Ha ha, when I was pregnant in the winter I’d let the house get down to the low 60s at night – occasionally into the 50s! Sometimes I’d even use the AC in the winter! And I would sleep in a t-shirt while my husband slept in 2 or 3 layers of clothing, complete with a hoodie pulled over his head and his pj pants tucked into his wool socks :-)

    I’m NOT pregnant and I’d be sweating if my house was at 75 right now! Turn that thing DOWN!

  12. 14
    laurajane says:

    Are we the same person? I’m 20 wks pregnant, and my hubby and I fight over the thermostat like crazy- and at exactly the same temps as you. I sleep with a sheet, and a fan at my side, hubs with a down duvet.

    I told him once he starts incubating humans, we can talk- until then, hands off!

  13. 15
    Michelle B says:

    I had mine set at 65. I’d be half naked and he be in a hoodie under blankets. I didn’t care bc I pay the electric…lol.

    I like your sign. I dare him to touch it now!

  14. 16
    Mandy says:

    Hahaha!! Hilarious. I really want to submit that to passive-agressivenotes.com. You’d hate our house – we keep it at 78 in the summer!

  15. 17
    Lauren says:

    Jill, I fucking love you.

  16. 18
    Amber says:

    I am too afraid of the electric bill to put it below 78 and I am 36 weeks pregnant. It is miserable. I have a fan on me all night and sleep with practically nothing on and I am still dying all night long. Only 4 more weeks to go!

  17. 19

    My kids were both born in the spring – I have all the respect in the world for women who are seriously pregnant in August. I can’t even imagine . . .

    And I LOVE the sign! I think I’m going to get one and I’m not even pregnant. I tell my husband that until he has female hormones and a baby/toddler glued to him 24/7 (or inside him) he just doesn’t get a say in where the thermostat is set!

  18. 20
    Stephanie says:

    Haha that is the best sign! He should bow down to you and your funky internal temperature.

  19. 21
    TheNextMartha says:

    When I was pregnant I had one fan from the air vent blowing the cold air on me, I also had another fan on the dresser pointed at me and finally the ceiling fan on high. I felt like I was melting every minute of my second pregnancy. Love the sign reminder. LOVE.

  20. 22

    Loved this. You’re a funny lady. And I feel so very, very sorry for you. That is most definitely the worst combination ever.

  21. 23
    Erin says:

    We moved right around 22 weeks into our pregnancy last year. And the first 22 weeks we were in NYC with one air conditioner. We moved at the end of June to a place with air everywhere, but for most of May and June, I think I literally sat in front of the wall unit and didn’t move. I rarely emerged from the bedroom!

  22. 24
    Alexandria says:

    Even when I’m not pregnant my husband is not allowed to touch the thermostat! I am a big ball of fire and constantly hot.

    But when I was pregnant his brother & sister-in-law lived with us and they touched the thermostat and then made a big deal at dinner how the rest of the house was freezing and I had an emotional break down!

  23. 25
    Pocklock says:

    This is so fantastic. I can’t stop laughing. I think you should mass produce and market those!

    Signed,
    32 Weeks Pregnant in August

  24. 26
    Theresa says:

    For some reason it is the opposite here in our house. Granted, no one is prego, but I’m freezing! My husband has that temp set at 70 degrees. I have snot icicles!

  25. 27
    Meghan says:

    lol I just came accross this. When I was 9 month pregnant w/ my daughter in June the nurse at my OB’s office asked if I had AC. She was very worried because I had some swelling. I told her, listen lady, if I have to sell a kidney to get AC you bet I’d be farming my organs right about now.

  26. 28
    Meghan says:

    lol I just came across this. When I was 9 month pregnant w/ my daughter in June the nurse at my OB’s office asked if I had AC. She was very worried because I had some swelling. I told her, listen lady, if I have to sell a kidney to get AC you bet I’d be farming my organs right about now.

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