Because, Apparently, A Name Can Determine Future Dental Hygiene

My least favorite part of bringing a new life into this world? Not sure, but naming them is in the running. It goes a little something like this around here…

What about (name)?

No, that’s too trendy. There are already a million (name) and I’d like to not add another to the mix.

What about (name)?

No, that’s too *old.*

But old is in.

I thought you didn’t like trendy.

Good point.

What about (name)?

No, she’ll grow up with the personality of a peanut.

What about (name)?

No, she’ll grow up to be a stripper.

What about (name)?

No, she’ll grow up to be a stripper with *no teeth.*

What about (name)?

Too dark.

What about (name)?

Too… crazy sounding.

What about (name)?

Nope, that’s an ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s name, and I couldn’t stand the bitch.

What about (name)?

No, that was my best friend’s dog’s name growing up.

What about (name)?

Seriously? Just. NO.

What about (name)?

Veto. Don’t ask.

What about (name)?

Mmmmmm….hmmmm…. I mean, maybe??? Hmmmm…probably not.

What about (name)?

What about I’M DONE. What about SHE CAN PICK HER OWN DAMN NAME WHEN SHE GETS HERE. I will hold a baby names                       book in front of her and she can just grunt when she sees one she likes.

I would have never had this problem as a teen mom, though I shudder to think what I would have named my children in my teens. God only knows what kind of issues they’d have now because of it. Unfortunately (but fortunately?), the older I get, the more names move over to the veto list.

*Names have been removed to protect the innocent because, really, it’s MY issue if I think your kid’s name sounds like she’ll grow up to be a stripper with no teeth. No need to make you aware of that.

Kendall is 2 1/3 and I’m 23 weeks pregnant. And, no, I will not tell you what names we dissed.

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  1. LOLOL That is SO me. My hubs keeps throwing weird ethic names in the mix. Yes the odd ball russian name is pretty, no we are not russian. Sometimes I feel alone in the process. I think the baby chooses name idea is perfect!

  2. Bahahaha…I have totally been there. Naming my kid after a dog is a kicker for me…in fact, right after she was born (and already named) I discovered hubby’s cousin had a dog named Lily. I immediately hated the cousin and the dog….

    Then, after we had publicly released the name, my sister in law got pregnant and informed everyone that–if she had a girl–she would be naming her OUR chosen name. I. was. Pissed. Luckily (for her), she had a boy. My advice–when you decide, don’t tell anyone!

  3. We have a girl name picked out, which is why I KNOW this baby is a boy. I’m sure of it. And if so, he’s gonna have to name his damn self because I only had two decent boy names up my sleeve and they’ve already been used. This baby is SOL.

  4. We had the hardest time picking this baby’s name because it’s another boy. We’d already “used” our boy’s name with our oldest. Girl names were no problem. Good luck with choosing your little one’s name!

  5. You need Swistle. Now.

    We had it super easy with Baby Evan because it’s my husband/father-in-law’s name and I’m pretty sure I promised to name the first future boy child Evan in my wedding vows.

    Then I came up with a SOOPER SEKRIT AWESOME boy name for our second baby.

    Who is now a girl. I’ve got nothing. Actually, I’ve got the opposite of nothing – I’ve got very strong opinions about tons and tons of names but they’re all negative. And the list I DO like is 20 names long but nothing stands out.

    Just don’t have your baby 2 days before me and use the name we chose 24 hours earlier, ok?

  6. Before we knew we were having a boy, our conversations on girl names were EXACTLY like that. For some reason, boy names did not cause as much drama, though we didn’t even consider the actual name of our son (Gabriel) until about 24 hours before he was born. And I was in a preterm labor/bedrest/baby.could.come.any.second situation for about 7 weeks. It’s amazing how hard it is (at least for us!!) to name a kid!

  7. My husband and I are both teachers, so naming our first born 4 years ago was a challenge. We finally both made a top ten favorites list and then slowly vetoed off of each others list. It helped that we had 3 names that were on both lists. We took all 3 to the delivery room and decided from there and have had a single regret. We too support keeping all names to yourself! 🙂 Good luck!

  8. When we were dating, husband and I had a discussion about baby names. He had his heart set on a boy name, I had my heart set on a girl name. We had an agreement before we ever got married!

  9. There is a site I really liked that is something like name genie. It generates names for you based on your last name or whatever name you plug in. Give it a try. With the name books I was exhausted half way through the As.

  10. We’re having the same issues. We were all ready with boys names and this having a 2nd girl has really thrown us. I’m sure we’ll come up with something but I’m not a fan of the naming process either. Good luck!

  11. My daughter chose her name. We had about 5 or 6 girl names we both agreed on when we went to the hospital. I was very adamant that I needed to physically see her before I could name her. I swear she grimaced at every name but the one. Good luck coming up with “the name”!

  12. This sounds like my husband and I while we were trying to find a name for my daughter. We finally decided the day after she was born, and only because we couldn’t leave the hospital until we had a name. Good luck, it’s a tough job naming a person.

  13. Yeah so I just posted a giant blog about exactly the same thing! That’s pretty much how all of the name conversations go at our house, so basically this kid will remain nameless until he/she is able to pick one on their own 🙂

  14. LOL…My hubbs is STUCK on the name Molly for our next daughter. I think it is a dog name, I mean I like the name but I have known a lot of dogs named Molly. But guess what since I choose our frist daughters name, if and when we have a nother girl…I think molly it is. And I will love it just bc her Daddy picked it.

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