It’s super fun to freak mom out, even in utero.

Yesterday I was drifting off for my daily, much needed afternoon nap when I caught myself thinking I might have felt the baby. Then I had a hearty laugh and reminded myself I’m only 12 weeks, and no, that was not the baby, more like it was breakfast working it’s way through my digestive track.

I mean, it TOTALLY *felt* like a baby. It really did. It felt like what I used to feel when I’d reach down and rub my tummy while pregnant with Kendall, thinking it was my sweet, active boy. Knowing now what I didn’t know then, though, I know that probably half the time I was oohing and aahing and rubbing and patting, it was just my intestines… cute, maybe? no?… but not a baby. I know this because of the Phantom Baby Kick Phenomenon that occurs long after all inhabitants have exited your uterus.

But, I have to admit, it was fun to get a little carried away, to start thinking about when I really might feel the baby. I fell asleep quite content and happy. I woke up, having to pee, of course, only to have Mother Nature be all “Get ready for an emotional roller coaster, beyotch.” I was spotting/bleeding. Bright pink/reddish. It was more than I’ve spotted this whole pregnancy. I know, I know, spotting is common. Most of the time it’s nothing. I spotted so much with Kendall that really this shouldn’t have alarmed me, except I just haven’t spotted much with this pregnancy, and I was really liking that sense of security that came with it. I wasn’t bracing myself for what I saw on the toilet paper yesterday. Not like I used to with Kendall. Every time I went to the bathroom last pregnancy, I was like, “No whammies, no whammies,” before I’d wipe. This just came out of nowhere.

So we moved my 12 week appointment, set for early next week, up to today. I did my best not to freak out all morning, although my best sucked. Fact- I will ALWAYS be a bitch the morning of any prenatal appointment. Fact- I will try to pick fights with my husband.

So we sat in the waiting room for what seemed like a FREAKING ETERNITY, and my phone rang. It was Kendall’s Mother’s Day Out Program. I held my breath. “Mrs. Krause? Kendall had an accident. We want to let you know what’s going on and you can choose to come get him if you’d like.” Shit.

The tone of her voice made me envision broken bones and stitches. The office is 3o minutes from the church he’s at. I braced myself.

“Kendall was running in the gym and he fell and hit his head. He has a pretty big bump, but we put ice on it and we’ve monitored it. We’ve checked his pupils and we’ve kept and eye on him for nausea and sleepiness.”

Waiting…silence.. and?

“So, if it makes you feel better, you’re welcome to come check him out and make sure he’s okay.”

“Is he bleeding? Is he crying still?”

“No. He’s not bleeding. It’s just a pretty big bump on his forehead. He stopped crying when we took the ice off.”

Noggin bumps are a pretty common occurrence for us. Hell, they’d done 10 times more than I’ve ever done when he hit his head. He’s in much better hands there than he is with me, apparently.

“You know, I’m not worried. Sounds like you guys handled it well, and as long as he seems to be okay, I’ll just wait to pick him up at the end of the day.’

All that commotion certainly helped get my mind off the worry, and I had to laugh. Am I too nonchalant a parent? Am I callous and cold? I know they were doing their job, and I’m so glad they keep me in the loop. I just hope they don’t think I’m uncaring for not opting to go check him out.

Finally the nurse called us back, took my weight, made me pee in a cup, get undressed from the waist down, then wait ANOTHER ETERNITY in the ultrasound room. Fact- I will not indulge my husband in small talk while in the ultrasound room no matter how hard he tries. Fact- He will most likely annoy the shit out of me.

The OB checked out my cervix and reminded me about the polyps that were there. I knew this at the last appointment, but never thought to attribute the bleeding to them since the bleeding seemed to come from nowhere (i.e. my husband was out of town at the time I started bleeding if you know what I mean). She told me to just reside myself to random bleeding throughout the pregnancy. Super.

Then she sent the dildo cam up on an expedition. I turned my head, closed my eyes. I didn’t want to see anything bad come up on the screen. I held my breath until I heard the words, “Wow. Big baby!” I slowly turned and looked. Oh my. There it was. A fully formed little baby, doing a little jig. “There’s the heartbeat,” and then it happened. I cried tears of relief.  It stretched out and danced around. We got some great pictures and even saw a tiny little profile. Fact- I will thank everyone in the room profusely after I see my healthy baby.

It never gets easier, does it? I was explaining to Scott on the drive there that it’s the strangest thing, being solely responsible for growing a person, and yet having no control over it.

So, all’s well that ends well. It was a fun 24 hours that I’d like to not repeat again for a while, BOTH of my babies giving me a heart attack. I’m hoping for an uneventful 16 week appointment, and then I’m sure I’ll be a bitchy fireball of nerves again before the “big” ultrasound.

Fact- My husband is a saint for putting up with me. Fact- He knew what he was getting into before he married me, so I don’t feel too bad.

I’m 12 weeks pregnant, Kendall is 2 (and the bump doesn’t look too bad… relatively speaking)

*** #helpSam UPDATE!! ***

We have officially passed our SUPER AWESOME goal of $7,500 to help the Sartin Family! Thank you, thank you, thank you!! We still have today and all of tomorrow left to get funds in, so let’s just see how far we can take it. I think $8,000 is definitely attainable and who knows, maybe we’ll even make it to $8,500?!

  • Elizabeth Flora Ross - It never does get easier. I had spotting w/both pregnancies. First ended in m/c so of course I freaked out every time with the second. But all was fine.

    You are so right about being responsible for growing a life but having no control. We like to have control, damnit! But that baby is letting you know early on that you are not (and never will be). LOL

    So happy all is well.ReplyCancel

  • Tottums - “…it’s the strangest thing, being solely responsible for growing a person, and yet having no control over it.”

    This is SUCH a great quote. I might steal it ;)

    {{hugs}} to you! I’m so glad baby and you are doing good … and I’m glad K’s noggin is ok too! <3ReplyCancel

  • Jenna Alive - You know, my “intense” toddler is usually vaccine enough against the baby rabies, God bless her, but this entry is giving me twinges of that temporary insanity.

    Also, my daughter is a year old and I only stopped getting the phantom baby kicks a couple months ago. Boy, that is an ODD sensation.ReplyCancel

  • Leslie - I have to agree with you that it doesn’t get easier. I just wrote a blog post today about how I feel more paranoid now with this baby (I’m 14 weeks) than I did with DS#1. I blame the internet. :)ReplyCancel

  • Secret Mommy - I’ve never had spotting with pregnancy, but I have had a gazillion head bumps on my two boys and I, like you, generally don’t do anything for them. Once my MIL tried to give 2 yr. old an ice pack for a good forehead bumper and he licked it, thinking it was a lollipop! :) She was shocked I’d never given him an ice pack before. I told her I was trying to conseve water…ReplyCancel

  • Molly in MN - I seriously lol’d while reading this…
    I am “that” mom with you – “oh you say he hit his head…it isn’t bleeding…oh he’ll be fine…thanks for letting me know…see you in a few hours” click.

    Oh and the dildo cam – I had that both pregnancies and now I finally have a term for it! OMG…I had to share this with my husband because that’s exactly how I felt…down to the damn condom and jelly they put on it!ReplyCancel

  • Kim - Fact – Chik-Fil-A fixes everything. :-)

    Seriously though, so happy to hear everything is okay. Spotting can be so scary!

    I had my ‘horrible mom’ moment last Thursday when I was scheduled to leave (for the first time, ever) for a girls-only bachelorette party weekend in AZ, and 12 hrs before I leave, my child is puking and has a temp of 102.7 It was touch and go for awhile, but we all celebrated when there was no fever on Friday morning. Because now, Mom can drink Malibu and Diet Cokes poolside, guilt-free!ReplyCancel

  • Krista - I had spotting with DS, and it freaked me out the first few times – first time it happened we were traveling with friends, who we’d just told that we were pg. That was a long 2 hour ride home.

    I’m hoping that for this pregnancy I don’t have to deal with that, but who knows… Ah the joys!!ReplyCancel

  • Brooke - I had a little bit of spotting a couple of weeks ago and it scared me to death. I’m sorry you had to deal with that too, but it is actually encouraging to hear that you had spotting with Kendall and had a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I’m about two weeks behind you this time around (and this is my first pregnancy) so I am definitely benefiting from your experience! Thanks for sharing.ReplyCancel

  • Molly - Ahhhh, I’m breathing a sigh of relief for you. I’m glad he’s doing well.

    Did you catch that? I’m guessing BOY for baby #2 ;)ReplyCancel

  • Blair@HeirtoBlair - So thankful for a healthy, growing baby :)ReplyCancel

  • rkmama - Thanks for putting the phrase “dildo cam”in my vocabulary. I had no idea this is how they checked things out in early pregnancy with my first child and I said, completely horrified, to the nurse “But this isn’t how they do it in the movies?!”ReplyCancel

  • MIranda - I totally felt movement at 13 weeks with baby #2. Its not uncommone to feel movements much sooner with second babies.ReplyCancel

  • Leah - I have been there. That is the most hellish 24 hours I think I have ever been through. I am glad everything is ok and that your baby did a little dance for you, just to let you know everything is ok. Congratulations on your new pregnancy! Can’t wait to read more of your antics!ReplyCancel

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