Baby’s healthy! Now where should I deliver?

Great news, the baby looked healthy! Better news, there is only one (not that 2 would have been bad news, but 1 is PLENTY!). Scott’s been convinced that there were twins, and with the level of exhaustion and nausea I’ve had, I wouldn’t have been surprised, but no. I guess I’m either a wuss this time around or the baby is some sort of super ninja, zapping every last ounce of energy from me, leaving me with no choice but to recharge twice a day.

The new “official” due date, according to the office, is 12/24, even though the baby is actually measuring 9 weeks today, aligning with the ovulation date I predicted (based on, well, me knowing my body) and a due date of 12/22. *Sigh* On the one hand I’m happy to have a due date that’s later than the one I was going by because that gives me a couple extra days before people start getting antsy about inductions, but I also hate to think of the challenge of going into labor on or around the holidays (and I know an estimated due date has nothing to do with that).

For now, I’m staying with this OBGYN’s office, even though the midwife who I originally intended on seeing just left the practice and they are currently without a replacement. It’s a tough decision, and not one I’m sure I’ll stick with, but the OB I met with today was 100x better than the OBs I left in Virginia in favor of a midwife practice. She encouraged me to seek out a doula and talked to me about how they would handle a med free labor and delivery at the hospital. I really do like the hospital, it’s certified “Baby Friendly” and has a labor tub.  It’s the only one in the are that does. And while they don’t offer wireless monitoring, she did put my mind at ease telling me that they aren’t going to be pulling me in and out of the tub to monitor the heart rate often if everything is looking good.

Our only other option is to deliver at a birthing center (we did end up finding one covered by our insurance, though not our first choice) with a midwife. And while I have nothing against birthing centers and know so many women have amazing experiences there, I’m just not sure it’s for us. For one, this center is 10 minutes from a hospital, which is a little beyond my personal comfort level. And as much as I know I can do this without the epidural and will try everything in my power to do so, I just feel more comfortable knowing, if for some reason I really need it, it’s available, which isn’t an option at a center. Finally, and this is really the kicker for me, the moms who deliver at the birthing center are sent home 5 to 8 HOURS after delivering! I just. can’t. imagine. It’s not like a hospital is my favorite place, but I actually enjoyed my time recovering there the last time. Sure the food sucked, but that’s why I had my mom and Scott bring me takeout the whole time.  I was such a, well, a MESS that soon after having Kendall. I’m really glad it wasn’t my sheets I was ruining.

I don’t know, I’m certainly not meaning to knock the birthing center experience. I wish it felt like a comfortable option to me, and maybe it will with time, but for now I’m going to stick with the OB, hope they hire a midwife soon, tour the hospital and look into hiring a doula. In a fantasy world I’d have Scott take a 6 month detail back in VA/DC and I’d go back to my midwives (I’ve seriously proposed this). Maybe I’m romanticizing things, but I just feel like I had a nearly perfect birthing experience with Kendall and that nothing else is not going to live up to it.

I’m glad I have some time to figure this all out.

Nearly 9 weeks pregnant

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  1. A friend of mine just did the med-free birth with assistance from a doula and she’d do it again in a heartbeat. She delivered at the hospital and was monitored by an OB but her doula was her advocate and she was able to labor without any wires or other intervention. Good luck to you!

  2. Dude, to each their own … but I can not even FATHOM going home 8-9 hours after delivery.


    But then, I am a wimp, and consider the epidural the greatest invention in history, lol. 🙂

  3. Good luck with your choice. I had a horrible first birthing experience, a now-healthy baby is all that went right. she wasn’t healthy at first, my water broke 3 weeks early and they used pitocin on me, had me jacked up for end stage labor for 5 FREAKING hours from hour 10-15 where I had back to back contractions with no break. I was literally exhausted and could not stop crying enough to breathe so my hubs convinced me to take sleepy drugs and finally an epidural, and then after waiting for 24 hours and pushing for 4, the doctor finally came at midnight and said my baby was stuck and couldn’t be naturally delivered. It was a mess on top of a mess on top of a mess. Everything is okay now, but I have said, if we do it again and my water breaks (if I’m able to try naturally) and they want to give me pitocin again, I’m taking the pain meds and relaxing. I see no reason to go through that again. Then the health issues after that with problems nursing to top it off.. I had literally done every single thing right and felt so… abused by the time it was all over with and she was nursing well a few months later.

  4. If it makes you feel any better, I’ve heard good things about the food in the area hospitals. I’m pretty sure that the hospital where my current OBGYN has privileges is not so natural-birth-friendly, though a good friend of mine recently delivered there and had a great experience (scheduled induction, epidural, VIP recovery suite) and we have the same OB so that makes me feel a little better. I’ve been researching birthing methods and while I’d like to believe that I can go 100% natural when the time comes, I don’t think I’ll be disappointed if I can’t. The only other thing that bothers me is that the NICU at my hospital is only a Level II. But I like my OBGYN and both her office and the hospital are 2 min away from my office. I guess once I get pregnant I’ll decide if I need to switch or not…

  5. Jill, I’m so excited for you! Congrats! I will be hoping to conceive #2 this fall so I am totally taking notes on your experience. I think a doula in a hospital or midwives in a hospital are my first choice for my second child.

  6. Congrats on a healthy bean! You’ll make the right decision regarding where and how to give birth to your new little one. I feel confident in that. And I’m interested to see what process you go through to hire a doula because I’m considering it for my next (currently phantom) delivery since I want to attempt a VBAC.

  7. I do not understand why they change the due date when its that close. Mine was supposed to be August 20, but based on my 9 week ultrasound when she was measuring a little small, its now August 23. At an ultrasound at 23 weeks, she was big for her size! I know when I ovulated too. Whatev. 😉

    Your hospital sounds fantastic!

  8. I delivered at a birth center (the one in Dallas) and I loved my experience there. Gave birth at 6:24 pm and was headed home at 11:30 pm. I liked being able to recover in the comfort of my own home.

  9. I had a WONDERFUL birth center experience and left 3.5 hours after giving birth (It was a Friday and 10pm and I think they wanted to go home too). We drove home and slept in our own beds and survived! I wasn’t a mess though and had no tears or issues with bfing. Congrats on the pregnancy!

  10. Our birthing center is IN the hospital which I totally loved!! It gave me no fear of anything. I could go down the hall if I needed the epidural (I didn’t), if something terrible happened the OR was just down the hall (nothing happened) and if the baby was not doing well the NICU was right next door (we did not need it). I love that that was our option. It was excellent. That said if I ever got pregnant again I think I would do a homebirth. 🙂

  11. Super congrats!

    I’m the same way – If everything goes well, I love the idea of being free and not restricted by doctors (not a huge fan of hospitals in gen) BUT having the help IF I should need it is priceless in my mind.

    I also think I’ll have less trouble bossing about nurses and doctors to do and get things than I would if it was my husband and a midwife and doula.

  12. Congrats on #2!! I just had our #2 (12 days ago), and LOVED the home birth experience! I had our #1 in the hospital with all the meds, but chose a home birth for #2. It was SO nice to be able to labor how I saw fit and with what worked for my body. I definitely think it sped things up this time too (4 hrs v. 7 hrs). If you haven’t looked into doing a home birth, I’d highly suggest it! Our midwives stayed with us for a good 2 hours after the birth and visited us almost every day for the first week. It was SO worth it!

  13. It’s so interesting reading about childbirth experiences in the USA. Here in Canada, you see your family doctor up until 20-ish weeks, then you are referred to an OB/GYN in the hospital that you want to deliver at(this go around I wasn’t referred to the same OB/GYN because he had moved on to another hospital). They keep you there for at LEAST 24 hours if you’ve had an uneventful vaginal delivery and 48 for a c-section.

    I was there for almost 4 days. I was all about trying to get a midwife for my delivery and (in hind-sight, luckily) I wasn’t able to… the waiting list was too long. So, I just went along with the norm and went to the hospital to have Rowan.

    One of the things I remember the nurse telling me there when I was himming and hawing about having an epidural (while in extreme pain after 8 hours of Oxytocin for me to even get a decent contraction) was that “there is no special place in heaven for women who don’t have epidurals”. I thought “you’re right” and they gave me one.

    I am so happy they did, because the estimated 9lb baby that I was supposed to have turned out to be 10lbs 11oz!

    The whole hind sight experience with the homebirth/midwife thing that I had… I ended up having post-partum hemmhorage and lost 3 units of blood. I live 45 minutes from the nearest hospital that delivers babies, 20 minutes from the local hospital. If I hadn’t of been IN that delivery room with all the doctors and nurses, who knows if I’d be writing this today!

    My point: I didn’t even think of a midwife this time around and I’m DEFINATELY getting an epidural!

    Glad to hear that your new baby is coming along nicely!

  14. Yes, to each their own. I can’t imagine giving birth in a hospital. I’d much rather be at home with people who are there with only my best interests in mind and aren’t subject to being distracted by other patients or shift changes or hospital stop watch policies.

    I like that my bedding doesn’t crinkle and I can eat what I want and wear whatever I want–from a bikini to a pair of sweatpants to nothing at all, and that no one’s going to make me get up on a bed so they can stick their fingers in my vagina to check for progress they can’t really change anyway.

    Apparently, women who know that an epidural is an option are much more likely to get one. For some people, that’s fine, but for me, I’d rather it just not be a possibility.

  15. I have to say, I totally agree with the birth center philosophy, and I even fantasized about a home birth this time around. However, when I realized I was in labor, the hospital is the FIRST place I wanted to be. And, with subsequent children, they tend to leave you alone more, since you have a “proven pelvis”. With all that said and how you described the hospital (oh, how I miss the hospitals in Dallas), I’d go with them. Only you guys know what’s best though. Good luck!

  16. congrats on a healthy babe! i had a pit-induced (pain-med free) hospital birth, which landed kiddo in the NICU and me in the hospital with an infection.
    our second son was born at home in a birth tub – soooo much better! I LOVED climbing into my own bed afterwards (stained a couple towels, but that’s it) and having only those i knew and trusted around me.
    have you toured the birth center? that might be a good idea, so you know for sure if it’s not for you. (and, at least with our former birth center in the area, mamas can transfer if they need pain meds.)

  17. Homebirth!

    I had an unmedicated hospital delivery with my 2nd, with the help of my Momma friend-childbirther extraordinaire-doula. I delivered in a “Baby Friendly” hospital and it was a JOKE. JOKE JOKE JOKE. We were disrespected, put down, I had a nurse try to check my epidural sight and my c-section stitches before she actually listened to me, they stood outside my door in the mother-baby unit and whispered about me, berated me and were generally assholes. Never, ever again. Homebirth Momma!

  18. Get a couple Hypnosis birthing CD’s to listen to. I can’t have an epidural due to a spinal surgery I had – the hypno-birthing CDs helped SO much words can’t even describe.

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