The following is what I can only imagine goes through Kendall’s head every morning. It’s pretty much always the same thing, the same back and forth of emotions, the same rivalry with the dog. This nearly 2 year old little boy seems to have the mood swings of a PMSing 16 year old girl.

::rub eyes, check to make sure all toys and books are still in bed with me, see that I still have room on this mattress for more stuff, crawl out of bed and toddle over to the sock drawer, bring back all the socks I can carry in my chubby arms, climb back in bed and be happy::

Hmmm.. I’m hungry, and I can’t find the cheese I tried to bring to bed with me last night.

“MA! MAAAAAA!!….. DA?…Woof??”

::sit, wait, undo diaper::

I think I hear her coming… yup… there she is! Quick, show her all the socks!

MA!!”

Oh wait, I’m not ready to get out of bed. I’m still sleepy! NO! Why is she making me get out of bed?!

NO. Grrrrrrrr. No!”

::flailing limbs, body to jelly::

Must resist clean diaper. If she gets a clean diaper on me, she’ll think she can put clean clothes on me. Do NOT WANT CLOTHES! Oh look, a dog.

Woof!”

::smile::

Dammit, how did she get that diaper on me! Stupid distracting dog trick.

::turn to jelly again when set on floor, collapse into puddle of screaming::

Why is she asking me what’s wrong? I don’t know! …ย Oh, breakfast. Yes! Bananas!

::stand up, run to kitchen, wait by bananas, lose patience::

“Nanananana! Pease! EEEEEE!”

::watch mom like a hawk, making sure she doesn’t ruin the banana by taking the peel off for me::

Whew. That was close.

::unpeel banana by myself ย because I’m grown up like that, leave peel on the floor, scream at dog when she tries to eat it::

OMG! OMG, what just happened?! OH NO! The banana is broken! I BROKE THE BANANA! This will not DO! How could I do this?

Uh OH!”

::throw banana on floor, crying::

NO! Why is the dog eating the banana?! That’s MY broken banana! Give it back!

::SCREAMS VERY LOUD::

Why is she not getting me a new banana? What does she mean USE MY WORDS?! Use YOUR words and tell the dog to give me back my broken banana!

::hit mommy::

There, now go get me a new banana…. Wait… what? Where are you taking… to TIMEOUT?? Are you for real?! It’s the dog’s fault!

::sit in stupid boring corner, take off socks, be bored, give dog evil glare, vow to never drop her food from the table again::

Yes, mommy. I’m sorry. Yes, I know. No hitting. Yes, I’ll give you a hug. And look at how cute and sweet I am, don’t ever forget it. Here’s a sweet smile just for you.

::hug mommy, walk over and hug dog, but this doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven::

Oh look! Diego!

“Go Go!”

::run over to TV, eat new banana, drink milk, lay head on doggie::

I love Diego. I love bananas. I love my doggie.

Kendall is nearly 23 months old, and sometimes I wonder if Midol might help.

28 thoughts on “Toddler mood swings”

  1. Ha ha ha!! I am literally cracking up. Mostly because Big Sister was just standing in front of me saying “pebong! Pebong! PEBONG! PEEEEEEBOOOONNNNGGGG!” And then she was icking and flailing and throwing herself around as I very calmly told her that she “can throw a fit all you want but I do not know what you want” and then she abruptly stopped and is now off playing with her “cat-cat” Toddlers are so much fun, aren’t they?

  2. This totally made my day! I imagine the same thing going on with my 27 month old only he does use his words, particularly when those words are “No, Mommy I don’t want [insert offending object]!”

  3. Oh My Gosh….this sounds so much like my 15 month old son. Except he doesn’t speak as well and is still in his crib…but this last month I find myself wondering who switched my son with a crazed kid that obviously belongs to someone else! Thanks for this post. At least I can see I better get used to the shannigans…they will be lasting for a while!

  4. I would swear you’ve been at my house reading this. Love it and glad I’m not the only one stuck in toddler mood swing land.

  5. You never disappoint, Jill. Thanks for the laugh. It sure seems like when they are this age, they are more like little cavemen than people. What a frustrating world they live in, huh?

  6. You hit the nail on the head!! You are hilarious. This is my morning EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. minus the dog. Thanks for putting words in my son’s mouth.

  7. My house, without the dog!!! Replace the dog with a year and a half year old girl! LOL! This is pretty much EVERYONE’S life these days. Hang in there! Before you know it, he will be off to school!

  8. Hahahahaha I love it! This made me laugh out loud at my desk. People are staring and I’m okay with it because dear God you are one funny lady. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Haha, definitely brought a smile and some giggles to my day!! What it must be like to be inside a toddler’s head… I know when I taught preschool I NEVER had a clue what they were thinking.

  10. I just laughed so hard! Kendall’s thought process sounds exactly the way I imagine my son’s thoughts. Loved the part about the banana breaking! Very accurate toddler portrayal, Jill. ๐Ÿ™‚

  11. So funny! I’d almost forgotten about my daughter, at that age, getting frustrated because we couldn’t understand her language. We can only imagine what’s going through their brains, but you’re probably not too far off. Thanks for the laugh today!

  12. We have our 16 month old Grandson ALOT & our days are EVERYTHING you just described except he brings me shoes instead of socks (This kid has ALOT of shoes & slippers)…We just started using “Time Out” and it’s 1 minute in the old rocking chair…After “Time Out” He goes to EVERYONE in the house & gives Hugz & ALWAYS Says Aaaaahhhh as he’s hugging Us …I just found your blog today & look forward to reading the entire thing…Thanks for the giggles !!!

  13. It is great to come here and be able to laugh at the ‘terrible two’s’. Sometimes when living with your terrible two year old you look at her and think ‘oh my God have I really created such a monster’. It is great to hear that others have these monsters living in their homes as well as me.

  14. I cannot even tell you how much I LOVE THIS POST!!! Yep, I”m late to the party but I feel like this is my every single day and sometimes I can’t take it but I love how you tried to see things from the toddler perspective – and I can’t stop laughing. It’s so true for how they probably feel and see things. Awesome post ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. This is not funny. THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS!!! This sounds EXACTLY like our house. I literally had tears rolling down my face as I read this.
    In the words of my two year old “more-more…MORE!!!!”

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