Just call me the Wine Rescuer

I guess it’s really no secret I like wine. I mean, I’ve planned a whole vacation around it. I even did one of those Facebook things at the end of 2009 about what my most used words in my status updates throughout the year were, and while all my other mom friends showed their kids’ names and the words “baby” and “child” in the top 5, mine listed “wine” in the top 3 and didn’t make any mention of “child” or “Kendall” until the bottom of the list.

Listen, it’s not like I’m drinking shiraz from any sort of sippy cup or bottle at 2 pm, but when 8 o’clock (okay, sometimes it’s as early as 6) rolls around and Scott’s got Kendall in the bathtub, I’m headed to pour a fat glass of wine (and a frosty beer most nights for Scott when we do the bedtime trade off). I rarely have more than one… a night. Isn’t that very European of me? I’ve heard it’s good for my heart, too. I totally do it for the health thing. Absolutely.

This morning I dropped Kendall off at Mother’s Day Out, where he happens to be in the same class as another little boy in our neighborhood play group. We’ve been meeting for a year and a half, and I just adore his mom. She’s charming, put together, runs marathons, and manages to not fall apart (at least not in public) while raising 2 kids less than 2 years apart. Seriously. I don’t know how she does it. I thought FOR SURE some sort of alcohol had to be involved.

Sadly, they’re moving soon, and I guess she thought of me as she was cleaning out her kitchen.

We passed each other in the hall of the church where the boys go to “school” and she turned and said to me, “Oh hey! I have some wine for you.”

To which I stopped in my tracks and was all, “Really???”

“Yeah. I have 2 bottles. Do you drink red wine?” she asked.

“Oh, Leah. I drink ALL wine. I don’t discriminate.”

“Oh, in that case, I might have 2 bottles of white for you at home, too.”

I followed her out to the parking lot, where she retrieved 2 lovely bottles of red from her SUV and handed them over to me behind the church.

“Some friends gave these to us and we just never had the time to drink them,” she said.

This does not compute. I can’t imagine not having time for wine. In my world, there’s always time for wine! For example, I may drink some while Kendall’s in the bath, I may drink some while I’m cooking dinner, I almost always drink some after Kendall’s in bed and I’m sitting on my ass, not washing dishes, watching American Idol or writing. I really owe a lot of unproductivity to wine, I think. Perhaps that’s why I’m so boggled how someone like her could keep everything together. Perhaps it’s the lack of alcohol that helps. Who knows…. I’m really not willing to experiment.

And that’s why I’ll always be *that* mom that other moms can bring their lonely, neglected bottles of wine to. I’m fine with that, really. It’s like I’m a shelter for stray bottles of wine. I promise to show them the love and attention they deserve. I promise to make time for them. I can arrange pickup at your home or, yes, even in the church parking lot.

Kendall is 3 days shy of 23 months old and I have 7.5 hours before I can indulge in a full glass of zinfandel

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  1. LOL, I love it.

    I would totally be doing what you do if I weren’t preggos.

    My son is 4 days shy of 14 months and I am due June 29.

    I love wine too and it’s been hard to watch others have a glass every now and then and not join in (but I’m a good girl)

    Thank goodness you were able to save those 4 poor bottles!

  2. Now all you need is your own reality show on TLC about the hardships or being a wine rescuer and you will be all set.

  3. I always look forward to my nightly glass of red. I have to buy the economy sized bottles of cabernet to minimize my chances of running out, which is TRAGIC!

  4. Don’t worry hon, you won’t ever have to worry about the burden of taking in my ‘unused’ bottles of wine. A bottle of wine usually doesn’t last for more than week intact in our home. My dad got us this HUGE wine rack several Christmases ago, and is forever complaining that it isn’t ever used.

    Um, yeah … I have no idea why, lol.

    • I have NO idea! I think it’s partly because of many sad status updates and tweets about my love for the stuff. Clearly, you’re not coming off as desperate enough ; )

  5. I am so confused. Never had time… does she know that there’s more time coming right up pretty much… all the time? And wine isn’t super perishable?

    You know what, not gonna judge. At least she was responsible enough to re-home them and not just “forget” them with the cat at a rest stop on the way to Minnesota or wherever it is that they’re moving. Good for her.

  6. Oh Jill! Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you being “real” on your blog?! I probably have, but none the less THANK YOU! I’ll gladly come rescue wine with you anytime!

    • You know me, always keepin’ it real with the nasty pictures of my bathroom and the NEED for alcohol to survive parenthood 🙂 Anytime, my dear.

  7. michelle Nolan on

    I pour a glass of vino pretty much the second I hit the door after work. Then I sit and drink it while watching C play in the yard with the dogs. Does that make me a bad mom? 🙂

  8. I knew I was in trouble when after a long day my hubby said “lets leave the baby with your mom tonight and I’ll pick up a romantic box of wine”. A romantic box of wine?

  9. Ahhh. I too am a wine rescuer. I have rescued many a bottle of delicious wine.

    What’s funny is I just wrote a blog post about wine. Well, I wrote it because I wanted a shot at winning some wine charm blog giveaway thing, but hey. It’s WINE. I need more wine.

  10. You know what my husband said to me the other day? He said, “Sarah, before I met you, I never knew a single person who had their own personal wine broker. Now I know three.”

    For serious.

    I can’t drink (Crohn’s), but obviously I’m related to people who can =)

  11. Jill–thanks for the compliments! However, I have had my share of falling apart in public; you have just been lucky enough to miss it! I hope the wine actually tastes good. I would be super embarrassed if I gave you yucky, cheap wine! I couldn’t tell a $100 bottle from a $10 bottle. Sad, I know. I guess I will have to start learning. Truthfully, I don’t really like the taste. Maybe I just haven’t tried the right wine, or maybe it is the many, many, too many boxes of wine I drank in college that have caused a gag reflex whenever I try to take a sip! Oh–and if you are still up for the white, they are ready and waiting in my fridge! 🙂

  12. It is a sad, sad day when I realize there is no wine in my house. Sad day. And now that it’s finally warm again, my consumption of Sauv. Blanc is going to skyrocket. It’s the only way I’ve made it through the first year of my son’s life.

  13. Haha, I definitely feel you! I cannot wait until DD sleeps reliably enough that I can indulge in a glass of wine. Although, you do realize it’s not one glass of wine if it’s two or three servings inside of one glass 😉

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