It’s that time of year again when I get a wild hair up my ass and try to spruce up this place I call a blog. You may have noticed the new color scheme and the sa-weet threaded comments feature, but I’m pretty sure you’ve definitely noticed the new JuiceBox Jungle video player to the right. Let’s just get this out there… I am getting paid to host it here.
That, however, does not take away from the coolness that is inside. I actually found out about JuiceBoxJungle.com when I visited another blog and got sucked in watching the videos. Frankly, they are hysterical and speak to my inner mommy soul, and I’m pretty damn sure they will ring true with a lot of my readers, too. Let’s take this quick segment on parenting with playpens today for example. Recently I showed you how we evolved from Baby Jail to George. We could not have survived those early mobile months without the Baby Jail! This is just one of those topics that I could really relate to.
After I poked around and watched a handful of videos that made me nearly snort my wine, I took the Truth and Dare quiz to find out my “True Mom Style”. I almost choked when it revealed my results. Apparently, I am some sort of “Super Mom”. Say WHA???
Suuuuuuupermom!! You are organized, never run out of milk, and you book birthday parties 3 months ahead. You can’t be pushed around by your kids and you make sure they are fed the best organic food and get to bed on time. But at same time you are loads of fun. You throw yourself into kids play with great passion! Forts, crafts, soccer games, you do it all! You run riot with your kids in the park and then find it in your heart to bake cookies for the PTA. Your friends would hate you if you weren’t so much fun!
That is not possible. It’s just not. I don’t think they ask the right questions. And to prove it, here are some very non-Supermom worthy confessions:
1. I do run out of milk on occasion, actually, and last week I let the dishes go for so long that I found homemade yogurt in sippy cups at the bottom of the sink.
2. I may be able to plan parties months in advance, but I don’t have the foresight or the desire, really, to plan my menu for the month or the week. I’ve tried numerous times to clip coupons, but they NEVER make it to the store with me. My pantry is a disaster and I always come home from the store with stuff we already have because I lack the ability to make a good grocery list.
3. I may feed my kid organic whenever possible, but today I lived off a diet of cinnamon rolls, peppermint Hershey’s Kisses and coffee.
4. I may try to do crafts with my kid, but last week, when I was attempting to make this handprint/footprint reindeer from No Time For Flashcards, I snapped at Kendall and muttered “Oh for FUCKS sake, will you just be STILL so I can trace your foot!” after 15 minutes of what felt like wrestling a pig.
5. Kendall may go to bed on time every night, but I assure you that is purely for selfish reasons.
But, hey, if they want to call me Supermom, who am I to argue? I’m making my cape tomorrow. You may think that’s one of my regular exaggerations, but it’s not. I just made superhero capes for all my nieces and nephews for Christmas today, and tomorrow I think I just might make Kendall one and one for myself, Supermom. And then it will probably get spaghetti sauce or chalk or crayons on it and I’ll need to wash it, and it will end up in the hazard zone of our house known as the bottom of my closet, maybe never to be seen again… because I’m super like that.
Anyway, the JuiceBox Jungle widget is here to stay for a while. It shouldn’t go playing on you, though, if you don’t want it to. It’s not to make any noise unless asked, so please don’t worry about coming here and jumping out of your skin when you’re startled by it playing because that should not happen. The content will be changing from week to week, so if you’re interested, give it a look and press play. This week I see there is no video, just a quiz, sponsored by Restaurant.com.
I’m wondering when they will do a segment on whether or not it’s appropriate to wear your Supermom cape to happy hour?
Kendall is 19 and a half months old, merely years away from being embarrassed by his Supermother wearing her cape in public.