So you’re going to be a Boy Mom…

I know that feeling, that excited but scared shitless feeling when the ultrasound tech tells you they see that extra bit of anatomy. “It’s a boy!” Your heart stops for a moment.

“But what will I do with a BOY?” you think to yourself, never daring to utter the thought out loud because, well, you *are* ultimately happy that it’s healthy… but… but… you don’t know how to raise a BOY.

You’re going to be a Boy Mom, and you’re going to be okay. In fact, you’re going to be great. You’ll love it so much that you’ll never be able to imagine NOT being a Boy Mom. It doesn’t matter that you LOVE being a girl, that you embrace every opportunity you get to dress up, do your makeup, get your nails done. It doesn’t matter that you much prefer shopping for shoes to browsing the sports store. Your love for all things zebra print, pink and soft does not mean you can’t and wont develop a love for “little man” clothes, toy trucks and OshKosh overalls paired with a toothy grin and muddy knees.

Being a Boy Mom means slobbery kisses and hugs that start with a running leap.

Being a Boy Mom means saving hundreds on clothes, even if only to spend that amount or more later in life on ER visits.

Being a Boy Mom means developing a keen eye for bugs and coming to terms with the fact that sometimes they can just be considered an extra helping of protein.

Being a Boy Mom doesn’t mean you won’t continue to be squeemish about things like spiders, it just means your squeels will be entertaining to the boy who taunts you by trying to eat one.

Being a Boy Mom means being the builder of block towers so big they lean and topple, leaving you both in stitches.

Being a Boy Mom means developing a very watchful eye while changing diapers, always on the lookout for that surprise pee stream attack.

Being a Boy Mom means having the pleasure of watching your son learn from his father, and then reminding his father that at a certain age they will start to repeat the F word, even if that F word is shouted at a TV during a sporting event.

Being a Boy Mom means you’ve been given the tremendous opportunity and challenge to raise someone who will grow up to be a respectful, loving and kind man. He may break hearts, but hopefully, with your guidance, he will do so gently, and ultimately he will make some lucky partner very, very happy.

Being a Boy Mom may mean giving up the fantasy of getting your nails done together after a frilly tea party, but it’s replaced by so many fun future memories that you can’t even begin to think up because right now you just don’t know what to do with a boy.

Don’t worry… it will come to you.

This was inspired by my reaction to learning that one of my best friends is having a baby boy. Immediately after she told me the news I teared up and replied, “You are going to LOVE IT! Boys love their mommas SO much!!” I was truly so happy for her, and I had to smile when her response was, “Really??” I so remember that feeling.  For some of us girls it’s a little scary venturing into the world of boys, but we just haven’t experienced just how wonderful it can be yet. I know she’s going to be an excellent Boy Mom, and I can’t wait to meet the little guy.

I’ve been a Boy Mom to Kendall for nearly 20 months

And I’d love to hear what being a Boy Mom or a Girl Mom means for you…

  • Blair - I still remember that moment when the tech said, “It’s a boy! There’s the head!” & I wanted to die. Not only because the tech used slang to describe my son’s male bits because I was having a son.

    AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH A BOY.

    Actually, I did. & that’s what terrified me, being the younger girl to two older brothers. & so for a few weeks, I had that tentative half-smile when I said I was having a boy. Because I wasn’t quite used to it. & to be honest, I wasn’t sure I liked it.

    But now that he’s here? That he’s all boy already, promising years of skinned knees, dead bugs in pockets, smelly football gear, & hiding Playboys under his bed? I can’t imagine having a little girl. Like…ever.

    Because I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITH A GIRL.ReplyCancel

  • jhajer - Being a mom to two boys means being giving up your master bed for wrestling matches, washing sand out of everywhere from sandbox fights, letting ketchup go on everything, and being knocked over from the now two boys running at you for hugs!ReplyCancel

  • Mandy - I love being a boy mom too…in fact, now I have no idea what I would do if I was a girl mom…but I’m sure I’d figure it out ;) ReplyCancel

  • Leslie - I had no clue what to do with a boy either. I started collecting books that I loved as a child, always wondering if he’d like them, too. Like fairy tales. I wondered if boys like them as much as girls do.

    My husband and I are big nerds and we have no idea what we’ll do if our son loves football or any other sport. Because we only know how to be big nerds. So we’re looking forward to having our nerdiness challenged. Or reinforced. Whatever.

    My son is only six months old, but damn, I can’t imagine not having him. I love being a boy mom. And I actually LOVE boys’ clothes more than girls’ clothes.ReplyCancel

  • Mandy - Awwwwww.

    I um, have a dog.ReplyCancel

  • Mae - I’m a Girl Mom!! But up until the very second the tech announced that I was going to BE a Girl Mom we were all convinced that I was having a boy because that’s just how it goes in my husband’s family; one girl per generation and that’s it, the rest are always boys, and there was no way I was going to get the one girl on the first kid in the next generation. We spent a lot of time preparing ourselves mentally for the “It’s a Boy” moment, so when we were informed otherwise there was a lot of silence. Followed quickly by (happy)tears, laughter and exclamations of words (with varying intonations) like: tea parties, mani/pedis, boyfriends!!, prom dresses, homecoming dresses, makeup, and A WEDDING. All accompanied by visible dollar signs flashing in our eyes and a reasessment of our estimated retirement age.

    I can’t imagine being a Boy Mom either, (probably because being Piper’s Mom leaves no space/time for contemplation of alternate realities especially with two days in a row of zero naps) but someday I hope I get the chance. You do make it sound pretty cool.ReplyCancel

  • Lisa - Very sweet post.

    And I’m still really glad to be a girl mom. Your posts and seeing my nephews makes me very, very, very, very happy to be a girl mom. No head banging. No time outs. One gate is leaning, unused against the wall. The other leans against the stairs. She could pick it up and move it any time she got the notion. But she doesn’t get the notion, thank heaven. I really think it’s much easier having a girl, or at least my girl who isn’t very adventurous. Splashing in puddles and jumping on me is about as crazy as it gets.

    I do enjoy living vicariously through you, though.ReplyCancel

  • Monica - Thanks for this post. DH and I just got married in May, and the whole kids thing has been a constant battle for me. One minute I want them, the other I want to have a hysterectomy at age 25. I think my biggest fear is most definitely having a boy. I would probably turn the poor kid gay with how girly I am, but this post made me feel a little bit at ease with the idea of having a little guy running around.

    Still considering that hysterectomy though… lol.ReplyCancel

  • Navigating the Mothership - Thank you for this. While I’m currently a ‘girl mom’ (and soooo relieved to have a girl the first time around), I hope to be a boy mom someday. But with wanting to be a boy mom…I’m scared. Really scared. So thank you for making me a little less scared.
    -LauraReplyCancel

  • Becky - Being a boy mom also means that you’ll remember why you fell in love with your husband when you see him growing and looking more and more like him everyday.ReplyCancel

  • angie - Aw that was a great post! I’m 28 weeks prego with my first babeh and he’s a boy, so I loved reading this. I can’t wait!ReplyCancel

  • Stacie - Reading this makes me remember all the thoughts I had when I learned I was pregnant. I was so sure I was having a boy and I was so ready…I had already been a preschool teacher long enough to know how much I loved little boys. And then the tech said, “Its a girl!” Yikes! I had no idea what to do with a girl…I’m pretty much the opposite of girly.
    But now that we’ve had 9 months getting to know each other, I couldn’t be happier with my little girl. She’s not as delicate as I feared and I love my husband more every time I watch the two of them together.
    But this post reminded me just how much I still hope to be a boy mom too someday. :) ReplyCancel

  • Miranda - I know it sounds weird, but I knew I was having a boy the minute he showed up as two pink lines on a pee stick. I KNEW it. And I was terrified. I’m STILL terrified. Will I raise him to be a good man? Can I teach him to break hearts gently if he has to break them at all? Can I NOT throw up all over him the minute he picks up a dead animal to show it to me???

    I don’t know.

    But I sure as hell am LOVING finding out. Even though he doesn’t nap for shit and I still feel like a zombie nine months after the fact, when he looks at me and smiles, it melts my heart.ReplyCancel

  • Shanea - Oh, learning that I was going to have a boy was the craziest feeling! My dh was beaming and I was overwhelmed. A boy? What the heck did I know about them? Now a mere year or so later, I love being a Boy Mom!!
    Being a Boy Mom means having a front row seat to a little dare devil…there is nothing he won’t climb over if it is in his way or on if he has his sights on something.
    But the best part of being a Boy Mom is knowing that I am loving someone who I never imagined myself mothering- a boy was never in my vision- and realizing that he is who is meant to call me Momma. I wouldn’t change it for the world.ReplyCancel

  • M. ScoHi - When I announced to the world that we were having yet ANOTHER boy, I got the response from a mom friend that I’m just meant to be a “boy mom”. I have to disagree.

    My being a mom to boys means that I try and make them as “girly” as possible. I’m hoping that one will turn out gay, so I sort of get a daughter-that’s how badly I want a girl. As for clothes, I probably spend more on boy clothes, so they can have nice looking clothes (like Hurley, Quiksilver) etc. instead of what I like to call “dumb baby clothes” (a.k.a. onesies, overalls, cotton pants). My mom keeps telling me that I’ve been given boys for a reason- to raise them right to be kind & respectful of women and not “typical” guys. I come from a long lineage of nerds who know nothing about sports, and I myself refuse to let the boys play golf or football, but would LOVE if they danced or did action sports. I think there are some of us “boy moms” who would give almost anything to tweak the DNA to XX, but hey, we get what we get, so c’est la vie.ReplyCancel

  • Molly - I might be in the minority here for women but I desperately wanted to be a BOY MOM! I remember back in high school telling people that I wanted a boy because I grew up with three sisters and it was super stressful, emotional and hormonal in my parents house. Seriously, four girls, I don’t know how my parents survived!

    I have never had more fun in my life than with my little boy! I love it all. Is there anything cuter than a little boy in overalls? I don’t think so!

    Now, I did kind of freak out when I recently found out that I will be a Boy Mom x2! I’m officially scared. Yes, I think they’ll be best buds . . . some of the time. Other times, I picture crying in the bathroom because one son throat punched the other because HE STOLE MY SWORD! Yikes. Don’t know how I will handle that. All I can hope is that the hugs and kisses last me through those rough and tough boy years where I’m the last person on the earth they want to admit they know.

    We recently bought a red wagon with dual seats. When my son sat in it I instantly pictured the two of them sitting in the wagon together in summer time. Holding ice cream cones with it dripping down their chins and hands. It makes me want to cry with joy. I’m gonna love my two boys. I asked for boys and I got them. I’m a lucky women.ReplyCancel

  • Lauren - I’m a girl mom and I love it. I love the pink overload in my house. It’s an excuse to buy cute things til my husband takes my wallet away. And when she gets older I can take her shopping and we can have girly dates. Gah, I’m such a frou frou bitch.ReplyCancel

  • Emily - I don’t mind being a mom to one boy. It’s pretty fun. We didn’t find out what we were having, so I didn’t ever go through the “what am I going to do with a boy?” stuff. When your boy is here, you don’t have time to think about how, you just have to do.

    However. I just found out that baby 2 (a quite unexpected surprise) is also a boy, and I’m devastated. The though of boy x 2 makes me want to cry. Giving up the pink forever makes me sad. So while boys are fun, I wouldn’t recommend having all boys…I feel like you need to experience both.ReplyCancel

  • WaitingOnTwoPinkLines - HAHA! Once again, I love you :)
    I asked my DH what he wants next (he has a daughter from his previous marriage) and thought that he would want a boy – what man doesn’t want a boy, right? My husband’s answer was, “Hell, no, I want another girl! All girls – I know what to do with a girl, I’ve got that program down!”
    BWAHAHAHA!ReplyCancel

  • claire - i just recently found out i am having a boy, and he was ALL FOR telling me that. BAM! in yo face! as my friend said.
    Those were the first thoughts that ran through my head when i heard boy.
    Bugs? eww Slime? eww Trips to ER? ACK.

    but it’s all worth it, easily.ReplyCancel

  • Upstatemomof3 - Oh my goodness!! That is so right. Don’t get me wrong – I love my girls and as they get older we will do all kinds of girly things. However, there is just something extra special about being the mom of a boy. They are so fun and they do love us so much, don’t they?ReplyCancel

  • Rebecca - My oldest is a boy, and I had the same reaction at the ultrasound. Part of me still hoped that some day, I would have a little girl too. My son is almost 5, and my daughter turns 1 next week. I am already noticing how very different being a mom of a boy or girl can be. There’s nothing better than seeing your son grow into a little man.ReplyCancel

  • Candice - I was scared to death when we found out we were having a boy. I had grown up with 2 other sisters, and had no idea how i was going to raise a boy. 4 years later, he has stolen my heart; I wouldn’t give up having a boy for anything.

    I suppose I have the best of both worlds because I have a 1 1/2 year old girl as well. It’s definitely different being mom to a little girl than it is to a boy, but that’s what I love the most!ReplyCancel

  • Jenna - Thank you for this. My son is 14 months old & in the next month or so we’ll be finding out the sex of our next baby. This post reminded me of how much I love being a boy mom. In fact, I’m now unsure of what I’d do with a girl. ;) ReplyCancel

  • Erin - I have identical twin boys and until they were born was convinced I had a lifetime of drama coming to me in the form of two girls. I was TERRIFIED of having a daughter. I only have sisters and we weren’t exactly nice to each other. When the first baby came out I think my sigh of relief was audible to the entire surgical suite. I love my boys fiercly- ER trips and all!ReplyCancel

  • Maggie - Thank you for posting this. I found out a month ago that I’m going to be a Boy Mom. While I’m thrilled I look at toys and think what am I supposed to do with a boy?ReplyCancel

  • April. - I had two girls when I found out I was pregnant with a boy. My gut always told me it was a boy but when my perinatologist said “looks like he has a pull toy” I was in SHOCK. I couldn’t believe I was TRULY having a boyReplyCancel

  • Lindsay - Thank you for posting this!! I just became a Boy Mom on December 7th when my first baby was born. He is such a joy and I am so excited to see what kind of boy he turns into. I’ve already been peed on a few times and each time have burst into laughter… Every Boy Mom I know has warned me about it and given me tips on how to avoid the pee stream, but I seem to forget when changing yet another diaper at 3:00 in the morning. I hope it always makes me laugh :) ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - I am very girlie… and one of 3 girls… and I always said I could go either way on having a son, but I NEEDED to have a daughter. The day my son was born 17 months ago, my tune changed drastically. I no longer care if I ever have a girl… in fact, I’d love to have another boy! I thought I wouldn’t know what to do with a boy either… I hate sports and dirt and yet… I can’t imagine a greater love than that between a momma and her son. I’m glad we avoided all the pink and the drama that goes along with little girls… I get PLENTY of all that with my precious 4 year old niece / goddaughter! My little man already is enamored with balls and ball games on tv, much to the delight of my sports-addicted husband. And maybe we won’t have the shopping adventures later in life, but it’s equally fun to shop for a boy as a girl… James has a closet full of adorable clothes and shoes to show for it!ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly - So, yeah… I respectfully disagree with you on the premise of saving money on clothes and shoes for a boy… I jokingly said that would be the case when I found out I was having a boy… it has not proven true. :) ReplyCancel

  • Jessica - I love being a boy mom. The day I found out I was pregnant (surprise!), I told my husband that it “better not be a fucking boy”. Now I can’t imagine my life any other way.ReplyCancel

  • anonymous - Sounds like my daughter, except she does all this in frilly pink dresses :) ReplyCancel

  • pamela - This hit right to home plate with me. As the first time mom to a girl. DH ad I both have sisters, I almost fell straight off the table when she said “there’s the P****”. Huh? The who? Three months old today and I am still in shock, but also in love…that goes a LONG way!ReplyCancel

  • Vanessa - I am a Boy Mom to 2 little boys and when I was pregnant both times I hoped with all my heart that they would be boys! And I love it.
    Love my little boys. Love being a Boy Mom and I love this term – Boy Mom. :) ReplyCancel

  • Ashley - When I read this post my 3 month old son was sleeping soundly on my chest and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry. You captured it perfectly! It took my husband and I a while to conceive, but finally with the help of some modern medicine we conceived early last year. When I was only 12 weeks old we found out we were having a boy, and my initial reaction was a mix of everything. After struggling to get pregnant I was just so happy to have a healthy pregnancy but I am also a girly girl so of course I was hoping for a daughter to dress up. That all went out the window the second Noah was born. He’s perfect in every way! Now I can’t wait to play in the mud and dig up bugs! I can’t imagine having a girl now. As we begin to plan for baby number 2 I’m actually finding myself hoping for another boy! Who would have thought! (Of course I’m sure I would be thrilled with a little girl!)ReplyCancel

  • Kelly Burmaster - This is GREAT!!!! I had the same reaction. I wanted a girl SO SO badly. I couldnt imagine even having a boy. My son is now 21 months old and now I cant imagine life with a little girl. He is so loving and so much fun that I wouldnt have it any other way!ReplyCancel

  • Danielle - Being a mom to a boy means beaming with pride as your son hops on his first dirt bike, while praying like hell he doesn’t end up in the ER.ReplyCancel

  • Tonya Ingram - I never wanted a girl :) I wanted to be a boy mom!!! And that’s what I am! Being a boy mom to 2 boys (13 months apart) means that I have reverted back to my childhood when I was a ton-boy! Lots of energy. Pushing the limits to see how fast they can outrun each other, who can win the wrestling match, how rough they can be without killing each other… but as much as they are all boy, they are truly mama’s boys. They love different than girls and it’s a very special love.ReplyCancel

  • AGA - Thanks so much for this! I just found out I was having a boy, and felt the same way. Your post made me cry happy tears. Thank you!ReplyCancel

  • Maria - This article made me cry… There is nothing… I repeat… Nothing! more wonderful than being a boy mom. And let me tell you – that NEVER changes. My ‘boys’ are now 28 and 30 years old!

    No one will ever love their mom like a son. You, as a boy mom get elevated to a place of honor so lofty, that you forever feel unworthy of how esteemed you are in your son’s eyes.

    It is my experience that no two boys are alike. I have one that is brilliant (though at times we thought he would fail 3rd or 4th grade), nerdy, financially (very) successful, sarcastic, and leans toward being reserved with his softer emotions… with everyone except his wife and his mom… and the other that is talented, adventurous (many, MANY ER visits), fun loving, life of the party, emotionally generous, and athletic in a way that continuously astounds me! And yet they are both fantastic adults! I would choose to be friends with both of them, were they not my sons!

    You have the opportunity to raise men that ARE generous, respectful, mannered, romantic, and strong boyfriends and husbands. I know. Mine are.

    My 30 year old is now married (to a woman I adore)and they are now expecting my first grandchild… and guess what? It’s a boy!!! I have never been more excited in my life! Nor have I ever been more proud to be a “boy mom”ReplyCancel

  • Peggy Parsons - interesting :) by the way, for soon-to-be parents whom it may interest, I have just found an interesting site on influencing the chances of conceiving a girl or a boy, babygenderchooser.com. yes many of us do not really care, after all it’s our child, but sometimes you are like me and just want a son. and I am definitely trying out some of their tips.ReplyCancel

  • Jamie mcmillan - I was told by the ultrasound tech that we were having a girl, but surprise he turned out to be a boy. I had a hard time adjusting to the fact that I was going to be a boy mom (actually that I already was) My sister said to me: “when little girls grow up they fight to be independent from their moms, but little boys grow up they call home every week and ask their mom’s advice about everything”. That was the best thing anyone could have told me about being a boy mom.ReplyCancel

  • Sara Vartanian - Ahhhh..the running hug leap. My favourite thing in the whole world. I gave two little boys under 4 so have just about perfected the ability to catch and swoop each one onto a knee.ReplyCancel

  • Rachel - I’m a girl mom to three little girls and I wouldn’t change a thing. Believe me, you can have a little girl who does the above things in a beautiful dress! :) I can’t imagine having boys. Ha! And with all the comments above boys being closer to their moms – that is bull. I call my mom all the time for advice and just to chat. She probably thinks I call her too much. ;-) I actually come from a family of all girls.ReplyCancel

  • Nicki Vaden - Part of being a girl mom means helping your daughter(s) pick out their favorite nail polish…for their fathers toes :) ReplyCancel

  • Deborah Dulaney - Spot on with the ‘running leap’ hugs. Love those. I have two boys and most days I still don’t get them. At all. And the truest thing I’ve ever heard is the definition of boy — noise with dirt on it. Lots of dirt. I have no idea how my boys get so dirty, but they are handsome no matter what.ReplyCancel

  • Heather Steele - Aww, this made me cry! I LOVE having my little girl and when I found out my 2nd was going to be a boy, I was terrified. (Still am a little bit if I’m being honest.) Life will definitely be an adventure!ReplyCancel

  • Linda Lanza Levey - My boys are now 34 and 36 and have blessed me with 3 boy grandsons~ all I can say is that they have brought so much joy to my life! I felt an awesome responsibility to raise them to be loving caring husbands and fathers and I am proud that they are! God blessed me with girls too so I see this parenting thing from both sides…somehow the boys were easier for me to understand!ReplyCancel

  • Patty Abrego - they are each so special, what other kid would give his Mom an Emmitt Smith Football card for Mother’s Day, n yep I still remember It Love my red headed boy and beautiful blonde daughter who shared her babies birth with Mom, what a treasure. Love MomReplyCancel

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