I knew this was coming

Posted by on October 25, 2009 15 Comments

The Terrorist Terrible Twos are here. Kendall is a full blown toddler who spends his days screaming, whining, screeching, flailing, biting and hitting (the biting and hitting have only been inflicted on me, so far). I’d seen shades of this before we left for DC last week, but it matured and bloomed, transforming my sweet child into a frustrated animal, the moment we arrived at the hotel.

I thought, perhaps, his behavior was so… animalistic because he was frustrated with our situation, he was annoyed with being in the hotel, or he was thrown off by the slight time change and disruption to his daily routine. I wondered if maybe I was just feeling his actions were so intense because we seemed to be under a microscope while traveling, afraid of burdening others with my loud and frustrated child.  Whatever the reason, the catalyst for this sudden development, it was pretty awful to adjust to and deal with in the confines of a hotel and a town center that caters to business professionals.

It seemed there was no appropriate place to escape. He didn’t want to be in the room, nor did I, but he refused to listen to me when I took him outside, insisting on running into streets and parking lots and toward water features in 55 degree weather.  He was minimally content in his stroller if I was pushing him around outside, but the moment I stepped into a store he began screeching, squealing and screaming, writhing in his stroller and pounding his legs.

We tried eating out a time or two, but were so embarrassed by his behavior, we felt like we had to shovel food in our mouths to get out of there before he combusted. We spent the rest of the week ordering take out. We tried to get together with a friend and her son, same age, and he showed off his super awesome new attitude by slapping me on the face in front of them. No idea where the hell he even got the idea to slap someone on the face. I assure you that’s not something he’s seen around here.

Wednesday night I took a much needed mommy timeout and left Scott and Kendall in the hotel room with takeout so I could escape for a couple hours, but that only did so much. By Friday I was a wreck. The whole week left me beaten down and lacking confidence. I had completely lost control of my son, and it felt like everything I did to redirect, distract and correct him only made the situation worse. I tried timeouts, I tried the caveman speak (toddlerease), I tried affirming his feelings, I tried not to lose my mind, I tried not to scream at him, I tried not to say NO every other minute of the day. Mostly, I tried not to cry.

We’ve been home for two days now, and the behavior hasn’t gone away. The only thing that has changed is my willingness to ignore his screams in the comfort of my home that doesn’t share a wall with anyone.  He bit me yesterday, and tried to do it again today. The first words out of my mouth, before I could even censor what I would say, were “If you bite me, I will rip your brains out.” W.T.F? It was such a gut reaction.

I found out about the Love and Logic approach today and am really intrigued. Something tells me this approach would discourage empty threats of removing vital organs as a form of discipline. There is a seminar down our way in a few months, which I wish was tomorrow, but in the meantime I will try to get my hands on the book.

In fact, I’m hoping to do a lot of research and work this week on how to get through this stage. I won’t be able to do it on the internet, though. I’ll have to go back to the good old days of researching stuff in a library or the book store, or just spending time on the phone with women who know their stuff.

Starting tomorrow, I’m taking part in a little social experiment where I will give up the internet for 5-7 days (except for the work I need to do to finish fundraising for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society).  I can’t say much more about it, but will be sure to blog all the details when I’m allowed back into the World Wide Web.  I’m actually really looking forward to this. Sometimes I wonder how much my connection to my computer and the people on the other side of it has affected my connection to the people I see, face to face, every day.  Sometimes I wonder how much of an effect it has on me as a parent.

Here’s hoping, if anything, this week will at least help me figure out a more appropriate thing to say to my son as he comes at me, mouth wide open, flashing his canines.

Kendall is one week shy of 18 months old

Photobucket
Filed Under: Headed to Toddlerhood |Tagged With: , , , , |15 Comments

Good friends. Good life.

Posted by on October 24, 2009 3 Comments

Many of you know that we are close friends with Amy and Srinu Regeti. They own Regeti’s Photography out of Warrenton, VA and photograph people all over the Greater Washington D.C. area. We were so thrilled to hang out with them this week since we haven’t been able to chat much since we moved away from the area 16 months ago. They made us laugh, they gave us sound parenting advice (with 4 of their own, I am amazed they are able to get out of the house every day, not to mention run a successful business), Amy rescued Kendall from me one afternoon when I was on the verge of a breakdown from being stuck in a hotel with a tantruming toddler, and they took some beautiful shots for us of Kendall at the pumpkin patch (Cox Farms for those of you in the area).  Here are a couple of my favorites:

Check out a few more on their blog, Blog.Regeti.com.

Srinu and Amy have captured so many moments in our life together so far, including our engagement pictures and my maternity pictures. They also snapped some gorgeous pictures of Kendall in the hospital when he was only 12 hours old. We are so lucky to have such wonderful and wonderfully talented friends! Looking forward to the next time we get to catch up, and I’m hoping it will be in Texas. We’ve got to get Amy and Srinu in some cowboy hats.

Kendall is nearly 18 months old

Photobucket
Filed Under: Headed to Toddlerhood |Tagged With: , , , |3 Comments

“Those Parents” take 2

Posted by on October 24, 2009 6 Comments

Thank you to the passenger on the Enterprise bus who smiled warmly at my tantruming toddler and handed him a sticker with a train on it.

Thank you to the Enterprise bus driver who was so kind and helpful with our bags and stroller and who, after we began to profusely apologize for forgetting to replenish the cash in our wallets for tipping, stopped us mid apology and insisted that we not worry about it, then pointed out the free SmarteCarte next to the curb to use in the airport.

Thank you to all the people in the security line who gave us knowing “we’ve so been there” looks and who were so incredibly patient as we loaded our 10 million plastic bins onto the security belt.

Thank you to the girls behind us in line who played peek a boo with my flirting son long enough for me to get both of our shoes off.

Thank you to the man at the table next to us in Chipotle who acknowledged how good Kendall was being at dinner. And, when Kendall began screeching moments later just to prove this man wrong, he simply smiled and said he “understood”.

Thank you to the wonderfully kind and helpful American Airlines gate agent who not only hooked us up with an extra seat, but also took our carseat, which we had intended to gate check, and installed it in a window seat for us before we even boarded.

Thank you to the man seated in the row in front of us who greeted us with a smile and turned to talk to Kendall. He was so understanding, even when Kendall, desperate to fight off sleep, slammed his feet into the back of his chair and screamed minutes before finally drifting off.

Our flight earlier this week was pretty nightmarish, but the flight home was so much better. Partly, I think it was because of the timing. We were scheduled to fly out at 7 p.m. but were delayed and didn’t leave until 8:30, well past Kendall’s bedtime.  It wasn’t a full flight, allowing us the luxury of an extra seat for Kendall, which also made a big difference. But, I really think one of the best things about our flight home, from beginning to end, was the people we encountered. It was such a 180 from our flight at the beginning of the week.

Granted, we are still hoping they locate one of our bags, which seems to have been the victim of mistaken identity at baggage claim before we could get there, and the stroller we gate checked at Dulles didn’t make it on the plane, but luggage was the least of my worries. Kendall slept 90% of the flight and the whole experience was about 90% less stressful.

Kendall is quickly approaching 18 months old

Photobucket
Filed Under: Headed to Toddlerhood |Tagged With: , , , |6 Comments

A little insight on “those parents”

Posted by on October 20, 2009 27 Comments

You know, *those* parents? The ones with the kid on the plane that everyone is annoyed by? Yeah… that would be us last Sunday. It was absolutely us.

Scott has some business to take care of this week back in our old stomping grounds, so we took off on a 2.5 hour flight to DC from Dallas at 8:30 in the morning. I’m not even going to go into detail about how hellacious it was to actually get there, or tell you more than we got there just in time, but our baggage was delayed by a couple hours. No biggie, if that had been the worst of it, I would have been fine. But, of course, it wasn’t.

Unlike my last flight with Kendall, this one was actually terrible. Granted, it was longer, and he’s stronger, but it also seemed like a much more hostile, tense environment. Very judgy. I was edgy from the moment we walked on after we were greeted by a chorus of sighs and groans and eye rolls when they saw my HAPPY child come aboard. We didn’t opt to buy the extra seat for him because, well, we’re cheap like that (even though I did struggle with the safety issue of it). And, honestly, I think the only person who would have benefited from the extra seat would have been Scott because it just would have meant that his lap would have been freed up, not that the noise Kendall was making would have stopped. In fact, had we brought his car seat on board for that extra seat and strapped him in, I’m pretty sure it would have been worse.

Here’s the thing, though, it’s not like Kendall screamed and cried the entire flight. Not at all. Sure, there were a few moments of frustration that came to a boiling point, followed by brief outbursts, but this was certainly not how he behaved even 20% of the flight. I knew it was going to be a long ride when, after only 10 minutes, the frat boy in front of us started huffing and puffing and audibly rolling his eyes every time Kendall would say, “Uh Oh!” and laugh. Sure, he was loud. My kid does not have volume control… or at least I’ve yet to find it, but he wasn’t screaming in this guys ear either. I finally leaned forward and said, “Yeah.. we get it… Uh huh… we gotcha… you’re annoyed.. point made.” He looked shocked that I would even say anything, turned around and said, “Well… it’s not that… it’s just… he keeps waking me up!” To which I replied, “We are doing our very best to keep him quiet,” and not another word or glance was exchanged between us from that point on.  It was going to be too long of a flight to put up with his passive aggressive bull shit, so I’m glad I said something early on. And we were trying very hard.

We had a bag of tricks. It was full of all sorts of new toys and books and snacks galore. Each time Kendall got loud about something, we did our best to distract him. I’d say this worked pretty well for the first hour and a half. Well, what worked the best was the snacks. We just kept feeding him, which of course made the judgy woman to my left give me all sorts of snide looks. Yeah, that’s right. I’m stuffing my kids face to keep him quiet. Judge me. I even gave him two lollipops while on board. Sure, you think I’m that parent that over indulges my child and gives in to his every whim. How wrong you are. The thing is, *I’m* fine with hearing him scream and whine. *I* listen to it ALL DAY LONG. I have no problem telling him NO, but something tells me *now* is not the time to discipline a toddler.

It was exhausting, literally. We busted our asses to keep him entertained and as quiet as possible. And you know what? I am proud of him. I am SO proud of him for the way he behaved. My nearly 18 month old, who is used to tearing around my house and Gymboree and the park from 8:30 to 11 every day, sat on his father’s lap and didn’t even have an all out tantrum.  And if he had, I would totally understand. That’s what was killing me. All these people and their sighs and their eye rolls, they had no idea how GOOD he was being.  And since when does a Sunday morning flight = right to complete silence? It is unreasonable to expect a toddler to be silent or even quiet for two hours, and it’s unreasonable to expect that you will be on a plane with no toddlers.

So, yeah, I guess we were “those parents”, but I really don’t know how we could have avoided it, short of tranquilizing him, which, TRUST ME, the thought crossed my mind many times. We are already dreading the flight back home, and wondering what on earth we can do to make it easier on all of us.

Kendall is 17 and a half months old

Photobucket
Filed Under: Headed to Toddlerhood |Tagged With: , , , , |27 Comments
« Older Posts