It came to me just moments ago as I changed Kendall’s diaper with the song “Five Little Ducks” (not to be mistaken for “Six Little Ducks”, cuz there IS a difference, you know) playing in the background. I mindlessly hummed along and then chimed in with the words. It’s not a hard song to catch on to, and before I knew it I was confidently singing along to the last verse,
“Sad mother duck
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
The sad mother duck said
“Quack, quack, quack.”
And all of the five little ducks came back”
Mind you, this is after all five of those ungrateful little bastard ducks decided to disappear on her, one by one. Terrible, terrible message to send to impressionable youth (much like this song).
I would not be so kind as sad mother duck. I would be pissed the hell off mother duck. I would waddle my ass out there and holla,
“You better get your little butts back here RIGHT. NOW. if you EVER want to see the light of day, an Ipod, or any of your little duck friends again. YOU HEAR ME???!!!”
Unfortunately, that’s not as catchy, and I’m still working on the melody.
Kendall is still 13 months old and has not run off on me yet