It came to me just moments ago as I changed Kendall’s diaper with the song “Five Little Ducks” (not to be mistaken for “Six Little Ducks”, cuz there IS a difference, you know) playing in the background.  I mindlessly hummed along and then chimed in with the words.  It’s not a hard song to catch on to, and before I knew it I was confidently singing along to the last verse,

“Sad mother duck
Went out one day
Over the hill and far away
The sad mother duck said
“Quack, quack, quack.”
And all of the five little ducks came back”

Mind you, this is after all five of those ungrateful little bastard ducks decided to disappear on her, one by one.  Terrible, terrible message to send to impressionable youth (much like this song).

I would not be so kind as sad mother duck.  I would be pissed the hell off mother duck.  I would waddle my ass out there and holla,

“You better get your little butts back here RIGHT. NOW. if you EVER want to see the light of day, an Ipod, or any of your little duck friends again. YOU HEAR ME???!!!”

Unfortunately, that’s not as catchy, and I’m still working on the melody.

Kendall is still 13 months old and has not run off on me yet

5 thoughts on “End of the Day Epiphany”

  1. I alwasy soo what in the world took her so long. If my kids went out together and came home missing one of their siblings I would go looking right away. I would not wait until they were ALL missing. Definitely not one of my favorites.

  2. You know I thought the same thing about some of the other songs…like who in the world came up with these?

    Rock a bye baby in the treetops when the wind blows the cradle will rock….down will come baby cradle and all???

    Down will come baby from a tree top? what?!?

    Hush little baby don’t say a word, Mama’s gonna buy you a mocking bird…mama’s gonna buy you a diamond ring?

    Sounds to me like a very desperate mother after several attempts at getting this crabby baby to sleep has resorted in bribing.

    🙂 These songs are so funny if you really listen to them.

  3. Ha ha ha ha! I’m cracking up over this. I like your version much better.

    My husband has rewritten, “Hush Little Baby,” in much the same way you’ve redone this one. Because, really, that song glorifies materialism, overindulgence and destroying the world (they just keep getting more crap when something breaks rather than replacing it).

    His version went a little something like this:

    “Hush little baby, don’t say a word, Papa’s gonna buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don’t sing, well, then, it sucks to be you.”

    🙂

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