Screw you, robot. Don’t you speak frazzled mother and toddler?

I detest calling a customer service number only to be greeted by a damn robot.  And when you are trying to get through with a toddler under foot while you are on the phone, it makes the whole process just that much more of a clusterfuck.  Here is how my call to the insurance company went just moments ago:

“Welcome to Blue Cross Blue Shield.  Would you like..”
“Kendall, no. Give me that shoe.”
“Okay.  I will connect you with the Physician line.”
“Huh? No. CUSTOMER SERVICE.”
“I’m sorry.  I did not understand you.  Would you like to”
“MAmaMaMA NaaaAAAAaaaa”
“Okay one moment please….Please speak your member ID number”
“R4..hold on.. Kendall! That is NOT a toy.”
“Did you say…”
” *Sigh* NO. Customer Service.”
“Please speak your member ID number”
“BaBABABA Duck!”
“Did you say…”
“NO.  Customer Service.  Real PERSON.  I want to speak with a REAL PERSON!!”
“Duck MaMamamammAAAA AGHHHGHHH!!!”
“I’m sorry.  I did not understand you.  Please speak your member ID number.”
Click.

Kendall is 1 year, 2 weeks and 3 days old


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15 Comments

  1. LOLOL.. I have learned in the last 6 weeks the magic word for BCBS is “representative”. I detest the robot too, and my kid can’t even talk yet!

  2. LOL. I completely understand.

    You can try yelling expletives at it to see where that gets you. A friend of mine does that all the time. The robots never recognize the words, but it sure makes the human feel better. 🙂

    Why is it that kids are the most likely to make noise when you’re on the phone and when you’re on with one of those voice recognition bots, that’s when they’re most likely to not only be loud, but require parental intervention?

  3. When I call those places, I just make a “CHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR” noise right away and it connects me with a person. Fun trick.

  4. I work for a gov’t insurance company – which is under an umbrella company that also runs BCBS for one of my local states. That EVIL robot is the vain of my existance!

    If all else fails, I push “0” until it get’s me to someone! Often times I have to hide in the bathroom away from my noisy kids in order to make any kind of phone call to civilization!

  5. I just had this happen a few days ago! My eight-week-old is already very chatty and the robot “didn’t catch that” a number of times. I just gave up and called back when he was sleeping 🙂

  6. I find the robots to be oddly hilarious. I crack up every time Blockbuster’s automated line calls me to remind me to return a movie because I love listening to the electronic pronunciation of my name. (Not that I return movies late that often or anything…) 🙂

  7. LOL. I wonder if they record all these phone calls and then sit in the breakroom laughing their asses off at all the frustrated callers? They should leak that onto the interwebs.

  8. Haha! I hate the stupid robots you have to talk to and they can’t understand you!

    I’ve learned that you can keep pressing 0, and eventually it will just send you to a real person

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