Toys R’ Us ain’t got nothin’ on Staples

I’ve heard it often, “They’ll play with the box or the paper more than the toys!”  But, no matter how many times I hear that or see that statement come true in my own home, I still buy toys.  “Maybe he is just bored with his old toys that he got 2 months ago,” I think.  Maybe he needs more advanced toys, more educational toys, louder toys, brighter toys, anything that will hold his attention for half as long as the roll of toilet paper.  I mean, there has to be a reason why stores like Toys R’ Us exist?  It can’t all be a giant farce, can it?  Yet, time and time again, I’m lead to believe it is.

I spend my days saying, “No.  That is NOT a toy.”  This could quite possibly be the first phrase he mutters.  Well, that or, “Mommy smells like coffee and wine”. He wants my cell phone, laptop, remote control.  Sometimes I think I’ll out smart him by buying him his very own, multicolored, Sesame Street remote control, cell phone and laptop, but that would be a slap in the face to his intelligence.  The fact alone that it has Elmo’s face plastered on it immediately gives it away. That is no REAL cell phone, and he knows it.  He is only momentarily fooled by the real “dummy” phones and remotes we give him.  You know, the old ones that are floating around our junk drawer?  Sure, they are enticing for a few hours, or maybe a day, but it’s not long before he figures out that *this* device is NOT the one that actually does something when you push the buttons.

Then he finds a box, a laundry basket, or some other object that I’ve spent little to no money on with no intention of it ever delighting him, and he is thrilled.  He plays with it, pushes it, fills it up, topples it over, tries to put it on the dog’s head.  What the hell?  Why do I, like a trained monkey, keep going back to buy more toys when, clearly, HE DOESN’T WANT TOYS?!

The picture I’m about to post so perfectly captures how useless toys are around here.  Sure, he will play with them on occasion, but in the presence of something cooler, something non-toy like, something like old computer pieces, (specifically a mouse, keyboard, tower and a box of tools) the toys sit, undisturbed and all in a neat row, collecting dust.

I took this picture last weekend when I took Kendall to my my husband, in only a diaper, for him to watch while I finished up some laundry.  I came back to find my completely naked son (yes, THIS is an entirely new stage for us, the one where he can and will take his diaper off if given the chance) crawling around our office/playroom, shrieking with delight over his new discoveries of the treasures that lay before him.  My husband was in the process of sorting through some old electronics in an attempt to fix this POS PC and to get some things in storage.  As far as Kendall was concerned, he had just found the Holy Grail of all baby toys.

And now I’m off to Staples to purchase items for his Easter Basket.

Kendall is 11 months old!

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
Available now: Amazon | Barnes & Noble

  • 10


  1. Jill, just make sure he does not discover tools – especially screw drivers. Mason use to take the screws out of everything he could find when he found a screw driver to do it with……

  2. You are dead on, as always! Kendall is TOO cute. My post about Temper Tantrums was EXACTLY what you said – remotes (only working ones), laptop, and cell phone 🙂

  3. So true. We gave our 11MO an old remote without the batteries too. He’s on to us though… he points it at the tv and when he realizes it’s not doing anything he drops it like a hot potato. It’s getting more difficult everyday to outsmart him!

  4. That is so true!!! They are all like that. Toys are useless!! Paper ROCKS!!!! 🙂 Oh and as for the cell phones and such. Try this – charge the battery on an old one and let him play with that. As long as it has no SIM card he cannot make phone calls but it will do all the cool stuff that the others do. 🙂

  5. This is so true for us, too. Except besides all the power cords, laundry baskets, remotes, and cell phones (and he just destroyed mine last weekend), Oli also loves finding the dog toys and chewing on them. Ewww.

  6. C’s the same way. My mom is pretty good about getting her “toys” that she will play with. For Valentine’s day she bought Caroline a bucket of 50 plastic cookie cutters. Those things will entertain her for hours: pouring them out, putting them back in, and carrying around the plastic bucket they came in like it is luggage. Old birthday cards are also a big hit around here. I keep meaning to go get some laminated, but I am afraid she’ll stop liking them if they aren’t edible anymore.

  7. Hahaha! I always tell my friends that we’re going to put all our expensive stuff on the floor, and all her toys on the shelves and end tables. Then, she won’t care about the stuff she “can” get, and will go after her toys. Sadly, I know that won’t really work. It’s fun to pretend though.

  8. I love it. It’s so true. There are dozens of things (that you already have) that are better toys than toys. Off-hand I can think of a little water, a salad spinner, and a box of tissues.

Leave A Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.