I’m actually a little afraid to mention anything

for fear I may jinx it, but I feel like I need to record this historic event in the life of me and my little boy so that I may refer to it in the future to reassure myself that my child, indeed, does have the capacity to sleep for more than 5 hours straight.  KENDALL SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT LAST NIGHT!! ::knocking on every piece of wood in sight::

I put him down at 7:30, fed him once at midnight, per our usual routine, then headed off to bed with three Advil and a big cup of water because I was feeling like ass.  I guess it’s a head cold or something.  I was exhausted and already dreading the inevitable trudge across the house in a few hours for the second nighttime feeding, and fearing any additional feedings that seem to be coming with this whole new world of solids introductions (because saying a baby will sleep through the night once they start solids is such a fucking lie, people!…. more on that in another post).  I made sure to turn the monitor up louder than usual because I knew how hard it was going to be to get out of bed.  Plus, Scott was out of town for the night and he’s usually the first to wake up when Kendall starts crying.  In fact, my lovely husband who I love oh so dearly is the one to go get Kendall 90% of the time and bring him to me to nurse him in bed in the middle of the night.  Then, only partly because he loves me so much and mainly because he’s afraid I am going to drop the baby in my sleep-walk haze, he is the one to take him back.  It’s things like that that really make up for the fact that he has no ability to control the volume of his voice while I am trying to get Kendall down for a nap.

Now, I’m really hoping that the reason why I didn’t wake up to feed him last night is because he really did sleep through the night, not because I was so incredibly exhausted that I slept right through his cries and my husband wasn’t there to rescue the baby. Ugh… the mommy guilt, it’s trying to take away my joy.  It’s trying to ruin this wonderful night of sleep for me!

Well, when I awoke this morning to, not the sound of a squawking/screaming baby, but to the sound of the school buses behind our house, I laid in bed for a minute or two wondering, “Why do I feel so…. so … rested?  So… refreshed?  Why do I not hear Kendall?  How many times did he wake last night?  Oh….my… God….  HE’S DEAD!!  HE MUST BE!!!”  I then leap out of bed, dart toward his room, fling his door open, and am greeted by my smiling baby, happily playing with his lovey.  If my boobs weren’t about to explode, I would have tried the duck and roll before he saw me so that I could get some more sleep.  I picked him up to bring him back to bed with me and reflected on a bit of advice my brother in law told me this summer.  It went something like this:

“There will be a morning when  you will wake up and not hear the baby crying, and you will  be tempted to run to their room to check on them because  you think they are dead.  The way I see it is just enjoy the extra sleep.  Chances are they are fine, and if they are dead, what are you going to do?”

Morbid.  I know.  It makes me chuckle every time.  I should have listened to his advice.

So we all know that since I’ve blogged about this wondrous event Kendall will wake 4 or 5 times tonight, just to prove it was a fluke.  Annnnnd… right on cue, like a scene from a movie, I hear him crying right now – 1 hour earlier than his usual first nighttime feeding, and this is actually the second feeding of the night already because he woke at 9:30.  Yeah…  it’s going to be a long night.  Damn.  I knew I shouldn’t have blogged about this.  I’m off.

Kendall is 6 and a half months old

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Seriously?!

I love my husband.  He is a wonderful man who takes very good care of me and Kendall.  He works his ass off and is incredibly helpful with everything.  I am very lucky to have him.  Having said all that,  oh my God!  I want to KILL him!  Getting Kendall to take a nap these days is a battle of the wills equivalent to World War 3.  He fights and fights and fights.  I rock and rock and rock.  He throws his arms, kicks his legs, screams, shoots me evil looks with the eyes he is willing with all his might to stay open.  I just keep rocking, holding him tight.  It’s quite exhausting, really, but I almost always win.  It just takes time.

So this morning I am SO close to getting Kendall to go down for his nap.  SO FREAKING CLOSE.  Scott comes into the room with a paint can in hand (yes, we are STILL painting.  It will. never. end.), and instead of making the observation that I am rocking his son to sleep and perhaps he should *quietly* make his exit, he says, “Oh… hey… what wall does this go on?”  I shoot him the look, but he doesn’t move.  I then carefully motion with my hand that is free to leave the room.  Kendall is starting to pry one eye open.  Scott sees this, “What?  He’s already awake.  Just tell me what wall to put this on?”  SERIOUSLY?!  Do you not realize that he is “already awake” because you won’t shut the hell up?!  GET OUT!  But no… he won’t leave.  As I sit there silently, trying to telepathically move him into the other room with the death rays beaming from my eyes, he continues to ask questions.  It is too late now.  Kendall is WIDE awake.  All efforts on my part up to this point are futile.  I tell Scott what farking wall to paint that color, which, let me just point out, I have told him at least 10 times before this.  Then it’s back to the rocking… rocking… rocking….

Men.

Kendall is 6 and a half months old

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RESPECT THE TURKEY!

Respect The Turkey

Created by Seventeen Stone

So I had to go to a certain giant retailer that I particularly despise the day after Halloween.  Immediately upon entering I was immersed in Santa’s sweatshop.  Christmas music on NOVEMBER 1ST?!  WTF?!  Why is it that every year Christmas gets shoved down our throats earlier and earlier?  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas, but not for nearly two months!  What ever happened to Thanksgiving, people?!  We’ve got to Respect The Turkey.

And it’s not just retailers, there are people putting Christmas lights and decorations up already!  I, for one, am sick of the arrival of Christmas creeping closer and close to the end of Summer.  Now, unlike most of my posts on here, this one isn’t just for the sole sake of me bitching and complaining.  I know there are people out there who feel the same way and I thought this would be a great opportunity to not only have some fun and take a stand, but to help a worthwhile cause while we are at it.  Check out www.respecttheturkey.com.  We have a ton of great merchandise that will help you keep the Thanksgiving spirit alive, and all the profits will be donated to Feeding America, formerly America’s Second Harvest.

So pass on the word!  Tell your friends and family!

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A letter to my vaccum

Dear Vacuum,

First, allow me to apologize for ignoring you this last year.  A vacuum with no work to do must be a sad vacuum, and I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you.  The truth is that there was plenty of work to be done, but I was too pregnant, tired, lazy, exhausted or otherwise indisposed to use you as often as I probably should have.  Yes, we had our occasional fling, but from this moment on I am promoting you back from part time household appliance to full time appliance!

It seems, Vacuum, that this baby of mine has decided to start to move about.  He is no longer the baby that would stay where I put him.  I am afraid he proved this to me today when he log rolled from the center of his blanket all the way over to the entertainment center before I could fill a glass of water in the kitchen.  In fact, I will be sending a letter to the entertainment center following this, detailing our baby-proofing plan of action, which will have to take effect immediately.

And, nothing magnifies just how much I have been neglecting you, vacuum, as my baby rolling around on the floor, especially when this new mobile phase is accompanied by the oral exploratory phase where he must put everything in his mouth or put his mouth on everything.  I actually caught him, face down, sucking on the carpet just the other day.

As you know, we have a tough job ahead of us.  The two large dogs and cat will challenge us everyday, but together we can achieve a semblance of cleanliness.  I am sure that we will be great partners, and we can be proud of ourselves every night knowing that we prevented that dust bunny, and those flecks of lint and dirt, and, most importantly, the tumbleweeds of dog hair from ending up in my baby’s digestive tract.

So, what do you say?  Are you with me?  I am excited and enthused and promise to keep this level of passion for a clean floor until I come back to reality and realize that I most likely will find other things to do with the 15 minutes a day it takes to vacuum, like chase after a toddler.  But until then, you and me buddy…. yes we can!

Sincerely,
Overly optimistic, bordering unrealistic mom who just needs to deal with the fact that her kid is going to eat some dog hair

Kendall is 6 months and 4 days old (and so damn near close to crawling)

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