I may lose the war, but I won the first battle!

Holy freaking OMG this is so fanfuckingtastic!  I just did Kendall’s new little night time, please get sleepy and stay sleepy time routine -bath, lotion, diaper, jammies, sleep sack, Rockabye Baby Lullaby CD, lights down, nurse, rock…. good God that is a shit load of work to get one small person to go to sleep.  High maintenance much?  Well, at least it WORKED!!  I put him down sleepy, but not asleep, left the room, turned the monitor on and prepared for the wailing to begin, except it never did.  All I heard was, “grunt… grrrrrunt….GRUNT…grrrrrr…gg…zzzzzz”.  VICTORIOUS!

See, I was all prepared.  Tonight was going to be the first night that we would start a modified version of crying it out.  (Boo Hiss!!  I can hear the disapproval of so many from miles away).  My goal wasn’t to scar my child or to make him feel like he’s neglected.  I didn’t want him to pass out from the sheer exhaustion of screaming his lungs out and choking on his own spit.  It was actually quite difficult for us to come to this decision, but the little shit head knows what he’s doing now, people.  The other day I let him fuss as long as I could before my heart was on the verge of shattering into a million pieces (I think I made it all of 4 minutes).  I ran back into his room, convinced I had scarred him for life.  I swooped in, sprinting to his bedside, only to be shocked when he immediately stopped the screaming, looked up at me, and smiled the biggest “I’ve got you where I want you” grin I’ve ever seen.  Scott swears every time I take him from him when he’s crying and Scott can’t soothe him he practically winks back at him after the rescue.

But it’s more than the crying it out tonight.  We are also hoping to get him to spend his very first entire night in his crib, in his room, on the other  side of the house.  I do not hold out much hope for sleep in the hours to come.  Up until now, Kendall has spent the nights in our room.  He starts out in his pack and play, but usually ends up in our bed, asleep next to my naked boob that is flopping out of my nursing tank, passed out after an early morning feeding.  I eventually wake up and put myself back together, but if it’s after 3 in the morning, he just stays in between us.  It’s a system that has worked well for us.  Especially for me.  Other than having to switch sides of the bed with Scott depending on what side Kendall needs to feed on, it’s very little disruption to my sleep.  However, for many reasons (fear that we will roll over on him, fear he will fall off the bed, fear we will have a toddler/child/pre-teen/socially awkward young adult sleeping with us in the future) we have decided that the honeymoon must end.

I’m sure it will be hard at first.  I expect bruises and stubbed toes as I try to make my way through the house, half awake, to nurse him in the middle of the night.  And who knows  how many times he’ll wake up.  That’s where the cry it out thing comes in, I guess.  The goal is to not rush off to his room every time he stirs, but to wait and see if he will put himself back to sleep or if he really is hungry before making the sleepwalk journey.  I guess that will eventually lead to better/more sleep, but the problem is that for a while I know that I won’t sleep through those grunts, whimpers and whines.  Instead, I will lay as close to the monitor as possible, analyzing each and every noise, wondering, waiting, not sleeping.  Yup.  Tonight is going to be brutal.

I anticipate the fight to be long, tiresome, and perhaps bloody at times (only my blood, I assure you, probably from stubbed toes and broken toe nails from bumping into walls in the middle of the night).  I will be at a disadvantage.  I will be more exhausted.  But I’m hoping some sneaky tricks will help me win.   Maybe he will be so enamored with his new room (which we just put the finishing touches on yesterday!) that he’ll be led to believe all the cool babies sleep in their own rooms and let their mommies and daddies get lots of sleep.

With that, I leave you with pictures of said cool room.  It is the only room in our house that is completely unpacked, let alone decorated.  Sometimes I like to close the door, hang out in there, and pretend the rest of my house is as pristine and color coordinated.  It’s a space and planets themed room that we’re hoping he will like just as much a few years down the road as we do now.  The mural is the most kick ass thing about the room by far.  My brother’s girlfriend hooked us up with her amazing artistic skills and painted it in a day.  She and my brother are headed to their first year of college in Seattle in a week (yeah, she’s 18 and this talented).  I told her she should do this for people up there as a college job.  So if any of you are interested, let me know!  I bet you could get her for a steal.  Okay, enough talk… here are the pics-

Now wouldn’t you want to spend all night in there?

Still about 4 and a half months old