Despite your valiant attempts to break free of my womb via my rib cage, I regret to inform you that you will be stuck in that increasingly small water balloon until you learn to head toward the tunnel located directly above your head. Yes, it may make more sense to try to kick and claw your way out instead of squeezing through what seems like an impassable channel, but I’ve been reassured by many a professional, book and experienced mom that this indeed is the way into the world for you. You’re going to have to trust me on this one. Start heading south.
And one more thing…if you could please be so kind and turn over into a more desirable anterior position so as to avoid making mommy scream from the pain and torture of back labor, I will forever be grateful. Remember that mommies are very powerful people