Why do all the pregnancy books tell you all 9 months to avoid laying on your back – lay on your side instead (which completely makes sense at this stage in the game because laying on your back feels like someone is driving a Phillips head through your tail bone) and every single ultrasound you go to you are forced to lie FLAT ON YOUR BACK? Extreme discomfort, I tell you. Not only are those half beds cold and hard and awkwardly positioned, but there is no way for me to relish seeing my chubby little guy’s precious face on that screen when I am forced to endure this type of pain while some disinterested ultrasound tech pushes jelly around my belly and me shoving my fists under my lower back in an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure. They could at least provide a pillow to cushion down there.

Why is it impossible for me to get up, down, turn around in any position without grunting? I love my Snoogle, I do. It sure helps with the lower back pain, but turning over at night or getting out of bed is already a chore now without having to do a herkie over the c shaped pillow. My poor husband is getting as little sleep as I am these days because I just. can’t. be. quiet. Add to that my extremely heavy breathing and snoring that startles even me awake, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time that he heads to the couch.

Why do I feel like I’m nesting? I always thought this was like a pregnancy urban legend…the very pregnant woman, waddling around the house, organizing sock drawers and dusting the toilet paper rolls. My husband and I moved the furniture around in our room the other night to finally make way for the baby’s furniture (since him getting a room of his own is now out the window with the recent addition of our niece). I spent half an hour crying over how terrible the room looked. It was hard enough for me to give up the vision of bringing my son home to an adorable nursery, decorated by yours truly, and seeing the dreadful room he will be spending his first months in set me off. So after living with those white walls for nearly four years in an apartment we hope (pray!) to vacate soon, I ran off to Home Depot and bought a $5 gallon of oops paint in a lovely taupe, had my husband slap it on while I was at work, and finished off the room with some fresh accessories. Today I pulled everything out of the closet and threw about half of it out (including many college days clubbing shirts…just can’t see the use for those now) and reorganized. I somehow managed to clean off an entire shelf and one third of the closet for baby stuff. I have never been so motivated to get organized before.

Why do I keep looking at my cankles, expecting them to go back to normal?  I just can’t get used to the complete lack of definition in my ankle bones.  They don’t even shrink after a full night’s sleep.  The worst is the spillage over the tops of my shoes.  I can’t even wear my own socks anymore and have been forced to invade my husband’s stash.  I have also made it very clear to him that he is no longer allowed to wear any size large t-shirt since I am now clearly the bigger of the two of us.

33 weeks 2 days

50 Things to Do Before You Deliver: The First Time Moms Pregnancy Guide
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1 Comment

  1. Hey girl, email me if you want pics of our teeny, tiny bedroom with crib. And laundry closet converted to laundry/baby closet. They’re small, right? They don’t need a lot of room.

    And I hear you on the cankles. I look like I have Fred Flintstone feet.

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