Liza, Henry is a douchebag.

Ever since my husband and I overheard our niece belting out Fergie’s “My Humps” in the middle of the grocery store, we have made a concerted effort to expose her to some more three year old appropriate music.  As much as it pains me to hear “Six Little Ducks” over and over, it’s far better […]


There comes a time in every pregnant lady’s miraculous journey through growing a fetus that the region below the belly button becomes an invisible waste land, not to be seen again without the help of a mirror for months.  I am sad to report that as of this morning’s shower, I have reached that point. […]

You can call me Stretch

He’s GROWING! Wanna know how I know? No. No stretchmarks – yet. (Please God, spare me my tummy! My boobs are already shot. Give me a chance to have that banging hot, flat stomach I’ve always fantasized about! I promise I will cherish a no stretchmark midsection and give it the attention I never did […]

Anyone have some spare patience?

Okay.  It’s been a week.  Only a week, people!  I am at my wits end.  I love her to pieces, I swear to God I do.  I just can’t hear her say “Aunt Jill” one more time!  This is how the dialog usually progresses – Her – “Aunt Jill!” Me – “Yes, honey?” (enter random […]