Then how the HELL do parents survive? I had a rude “awakening” this weekend when I realized that I feel like complete ass when I don’t get at least 7 hours of sleep, and even then I feel like half an ass without 8 or more. Parents tell me that you change when you have a baby, that your maternal instinct takes over and that you become a very light sleeper. NOOOOOOO!!! I don’t want to be a light sleeper! I love sleep! I love it more than yummy Italian food, chocolate cake, Hugh Grant movies…and yes, I may even love it more than sex most of the time. I hope the Baby Rabies doesn’t change that.
Really, you don’t want to know me if I’ve gone more than two nights without a good night’s sleep. Not only am I prone to be a complete whiny bitch, but I am also terribly forgetful and clumsy. That can’t be good if you have a baby to take care of during the day, or even worse – a job to go to. I can totally see myself sneaking into a bathroom stall at lunch to take a nap on the toilet or calling the sitter to say I have to work late and locking myself in my car to doze.
Here’s hoping that along with those maternal instincts I will apparently develop upon birth, I will receive the super human ability to sleep while looking like I am performing mundane daily routines like answering emails, walking the dogs and driving….hmmm…maybe that’s what the lady who nearly killed me in her Range Rover the other day was doing. I should really give crazy lady drivers the benefit of the doubt.