Moms, Take Off Your Armor

Posted by on February 7, 2012 9 Comments

Your blog has helped me see another side to being a mom, that it’s not all baking cupcakes, and sometimes it’s a very dark journey… Thank you for being a real mom, for being perfectly imperfect.

I read those words at the end of a very heartfelt, very raw email a reader sent to me over the weekend, and I cried a little.

This reader, this mother described how alone she felt in her struggles, how disconnected she felt to the moms around her daily. It makes my heart ache.

I think it’s a combination of sadness for her and the loneliness she describes, knowing what that can feel like, and knowing so many other moms feel that way day in and day out… and they’re convinced they’re alone. That those other moms they see don’t feel that way, that those other moms have it all together.

Everyone needs moms, but you know who needs moms the most? Moms.

Moms need moms to put down their armor of perfection and show us their weak spots. We need to know we’re not the only one shaking in our boots under that iron suit, that we’re not the only one nervously walking in a direction that feels as sure as a tightrope over the Grand Canyon.

Instead of pretending we have it all together in front of other moms, we should be open about our struggles. We should TALK ABOUT our weaknesses. We should share our fears. Human bonds are built on human connections and relatability, not fantasy and idolization.

Moms, take off your armor. Smile kindly at one another. Offer grace and support. Know that every mom you meet, no matter how “perfect” she appears, is walking that same shaky tight rope right along with you. Take her hand, tell her it scares you, too. Tell her sometimes you fall. 

Tell her how you get back up.

Perfection is a heavy standard to hold yourself to. Take if off, and I promise the weightlessness of imperfection will be freeing. It’s much easier to walk tight ropes without so much weight on your shoulders, and it’s easier to get back up from a fall when someone is there to take your hand.

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Filed Under: Round 2, Terrifying Threes |Tagged With: , , , |9 Comments

We Dressed Up, Stepped Out, and Struck A Pose

Posted by on February 6, 2012 21 Comments

Saturday nights around here are pretty much the same for us: comfy pants, glass of wine, movie from Redbox, maybe even dinner from Chipotle if we’re feeling crazy.

But this last Saturday night was special. We got all fancied up with real shoes on and everything, and we met someone I’ve had a photographer crush on for years- Lyndsay from Life In Motion Photography- in downtown Austin for a late night photo session. Just Scott and me.

I saw some of her Love Light sessions last year and adored the way the dark can make a couple’s love shine through. When I saw she had an opening for this last round, I booked right away and told Scott it was a Valentine’s gift to myself. We have no nice, non-pregnant pictures of the two of us together since our wedding.

I wanted some to document this time in our life. The love we have for each other. I want us to look back on them when we’re 80 and cherish them… and I want our children to be able to look back and see that love, even when they were not sleeping through the night and generally driving us a little crazy.

Lyndsay posted a couple teasers yesterday, and I love them! They are very… dramatic. I assure you we weren’t actually making out on the streets of Austin the whole time, and I’m sure there will be some of us cracking up at each other when we get the rest, but she managed to capture a couple very sexy, sweet moments.

We are pretty amazing actors. In that black and white pose on the left we were whispering to each other, “I think I just snotted on your face.” And in the one that my parents probably shouldn’t even see on the right, Scott’s on the other side of my face laughing, not actually giving me a hickey.

So, since this was the first Saturday in…. ever? that we dressed up and ditched the kids to “step out,” I HAVE to link up to my friend Mandy at The Haps to document it. She hosts Stepping Out Saturday every week where lovely ladies all over the web link up and share what they wore when they stepped out. Since mine is always ” yoga pants, no bra, stained college t-shirt” I see no point. But this time! Here’s what we wore:

Me: strapless teal dress-J. Crew (on uber clearance), royal purple cardigan-J. Crew (again, fire sale clearance), NO BRA (some things never change), vintage looking peep-toe 2.5 inch pumps (I’ve had them so long I have no clue where they’re from), hair and makeup by Katie from Modern Muse Makeup

Scott: dark wash jean-Banana Republic, black leather shoes-DSW, gray v-neck sweater-Express, black under shirt- Calvin Klein

Check out what Mandy and the rest of the lovely ladies wore when they stepped out by checking out the link-up here.

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Filed Under: Round 2, Terrifying Threes |Tagged With: , , , , , , |21 Comments

Don’t Be Hanging Babies From Trees- A Newborn Photography Safety Lesson from Jennifer Dell

Posted by on February 3, 2012 22 Comments
I’m excited to have a very informative, important guest post for you all today from Jennifer Dell, a photographer located in Tomball, TX (near Houston). If you are pregnant or have a newborn photo shoot coming up, or even if you are a beginning photographer who’s planning to take pictures of newborns, this is all really valuable information. Jennifer covers everything, so I’m just going to turn it over to her.
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We’ve all seen the super cute newborn photos of baby with her head in her hands or of baby hanging from a tree branch or in an awesome wood basket. What a lot of parents and even new photographers, might not know is that these images are composites. A composite is when you take two, or more, images and combine them very carefully in photoshop in order to create the look that the photographer wanted as an end result. Safety during newborn sessions is becoming a rather hot topic at the moment and when you hire a photographer to help you capture your sweet new baby please be sure that they are taking all the safety precautions to ensure that your baby, and their well-being, are top priority.

This is an example of a composite image is of just the prop set up. The second shot is of the prop set up alone. The first is of baby in the large wooden basket with my assistant helping to brace his head even though it was mainly resting on the edge of the basket (and blanket). She was in constant contact with him at all times while he was in the basket.

Sometimes there is an older sibling that is excited about the new baby and of course we all want to capture that excitement. I have always found that it is best when the older child is surrounded by mom and dad to ensure that baby is safe incase the older child gets too excited.
 
Even when baby is just on a beanbag posing ottoman it is essential that either an assistant or mom and dad be very close by incase baby rolls over (yes it can happen, I’ve seen some very strong newborns!). Even if baby seems to be comfortable and able to hold the position fine on their own it is always good to have a helpful hand to help brace their sweet little heads as most do not have the proper neck strength to keep their heads from bobbling over to the side. In this image I just cloned out my assistants hands in photoshop.
 
 
I know that I have been mainly referring to newborns in this article, however proper safety precautions should always be taken with children and babies. In this image, I had my assistant ducked down just below the frame in front of the girls, their mom behind them ducked down just below the counter and their grandma off to the camera’s left just out of the frame in case one of the girls decided it was time to jump down.
 

 Below are a couple more examples of composites or where I cropped mom/dad out or even cloned them out! The main goal of a photo session for your new baby is safety, while we all love those squishy sweet photos, we need to remember that they are little lives, not dolls and that their health and well being should come first at all times. Here are a few do’s and don’ts to remember for your newborns first photo shoot…

Do’s…

Do remember that they have very fragile bodies and they need support in those popular poses.
Do remember to take baby’s cues seriously… if he/she starts to become uncomfortable at any point. STOP. No pose is worth injuring your child or causing them to be uncomfortable.
Do make sure that the temperature in the home or studio is appropriate for a little baby… as they cannot regulate their body temperatures.
Do keep baby’s safety the top priority.
Do make sure that you are taking time to stop and feed baby or comfort them, bonding is very important in these first few weeks (and beyond) and should be continued even if there is a photo shoot. Newborn shoots can be quite long so take frequent breaks.
Do talk with your photographer about your concerns and their training with photographing newborns.
Do speak up and take an active roll during the shoot. If you are uncomfortable with a pose, just say so, your photographer is there to help you capture memories of your baby and family and will be happy to listen and stop if you wish.
Do try to capture lots of lifestyle images of you with your new baby, as these will be the most treasured when your child is growing.
Do find a professional photographer that has experience photographing newborns.

Don’ts

Don’t literally hang a baby from anything without the proper set up and assistance and even then think twice as most of the “hanging” images are actually composites where they have photoshopped baby into the image.
Don’t leave baby unattended, at any time.
Don’t try to recreate an image if you (or your photographer) do not have the proper training or knowledge.
Don’t try to force a pose.
Don’t treat baby as an object, but remember that he/she is a human life and needs to be treated as such.
Don’t use heavy materials around baby’s face due to suffocation hazards.
Don’t place a space heater directly in front of baby but keep it a little further away.
If you keep safety a top priority you will, no doubt, end up with beautiful photos and a happy, healthy, baby.
*Disclaimer, these are merely my observations, tips and knowledge, (I am not a doctor). Please consult with your pediatrician and photographer for their recommendations prior to a newborn shoot.
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A huge thanks to Jennifer for addressing this topic here. Please spread the word with any new or expecting moms you know. I confess that up until recently I thought many of these poses were achieved by magically posing the baby in these positions and then stepping away to take the picture. It boggled my mind, but I figured I just didn’t have enough talent to pull it off (though I never tried). It’s easy to look at a beautiful picture and not realize all the technical/not magical steps involved in creating it. 
Jennifer is obviously very generous and talented. You can find her on Facebook and over on her blog if you’d like to see more of her gorgeous work.

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Filed Under: Snappin' |Tagged With: , , , , |22 Comments

The Way I See: New Beginnings

Posted by on February 2, 2012 9 Comments

I signed up for a year-long photo challenge with fellow Clickin’ Moms members where each month we post one “The Way I See” picture on an assigned topic. January was New Beginnings.

I had a plan all along to get a picture of Leyna walking, beginning her journey into toddlerhood.

The problem? Now that she’s walking, she’s much harder to photograph, especially since she takes off for my camera every time she sees it (and my phone, and my wallet, and my credit cards).

I set her in the beautiful morning light of our living room this morning for one last attempt, and yet again, she wouldn’t cooperate and was more interested in French kissing my camera lens (how cute are open mouth baby kisses?). I said no, took the camera away, and an epic tantrum ensued. The was no soothing her, no distracting, she banged her head, hands and feet against the floor.

Sooo…. as I was saying… The Way I See New Beginnings? How’s this for the beginning of toddlerhood? A pretty good description, I think.

This was processed with Emma Wood Photography’s Chocolate Drama B&W preset for Lightroom. I freaking LOVE it. I’m a little obsessed with it, actually, and she has it on her blog as a FREE download. I mean, how awesome is that? Seriously, if you have Lightroom, you should head over and download it. Be sure to tell her thank you and that I sent you!

Now I’m passing the link torch onto Clickin’ Mom Amanda. Head over to see how she views new beginnings!

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Filed Under: Snappin' |Tagged With: , , , , |9 Comments
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